Three Good Things

As the conversation of mental health and mindfulness continue, a very simple exercise my mother did with me as a child comes to mind. This exercise has been a pillar throughout my life and continues to have significant importance with my mental clarity daily. I use this with injured workers in the workers’ compensation space, with my team, with my students, and most importantly, I use it to connect. I ask “tell me three good things”.

Three good things.

Pause right now and reflect. Take a deep breath and think of three good things from your day today. Take another deep breath.

When I drive my daughter to school or I pick her up from school, this is an exercise she knows is coming. In the mornings, it is our ice breaker as we are both not morning people no matter how hard we try. She will tell me three things she is looking forward to at the school day ahead. When I pick her up, she tells me three things that have happened during her day. It really helps create the dialogue as we navigate middle school.

Why? I am instantly able to understand what is going on in my daughter’s world without being one of the moms who has to probe for information or continue to ask her to tell me more. She is in the driver’s seat of this conversations and as such, she is choosing the topics to discuss. I am able to determine what is important to her life in the movement, what she values, which friends she is hanging out with, and how she sees herself. This is now a habit for the both of us and I hope she passes this along to her daughter to keep the ripple continuing. Sometimes she will ask me too so I have to be ready.

When working with injured workers, I will ask them to tell me three good things since we last talked or a variation of this concept to reflect upon three things they are now physically able to do which they could not do right after their injury. Or sometimes, it is fun to ask three things they are looking forward to when this person is able to get back to work and back to their life.

Why? It helps with human connection and creates a dynamic of empathy as well as understanding. It helps someone in the workers’ compensation space hear what is important to the injured worker for future talking points and connection pieces to build trust, transparency, and communication along the journey. This concept of the three good things is also not taught in any onboarding for an adjuster, employer, human resources, or leadership roles...and it should be. Taking the time to ask three good things is about being a good human and finding different avenues to connect, leading to increased trust and clarity through conversation. With an increase in trust, many times there will be better outcomes because of a positive dynamic within a sometimes challenging industry.  It also allows for an injured worker to be seen, heard, and acknowledged because this is time where they own the conversation, the outcomes, and what they choose to share. There is power in acknowledging this matters.

This exercise has been helpful from a team dynamic as it helps members create a healthy mind space for the work day. Coming in to work and thinking of three good things that happened since they were last at their desk can help set the tone for a successful and optimistic day. For myself, I take the time to reflect on the three things that have been awesome since the last time I was at my desk. Sometimes I write them down and other times I simply reflect in my head on what has recently brought me joy. During this time, I then highlight three things I would like to accomplish during the day and at the conclusion, three things I am looking forward to after work has concluded for the day. I am one of those people who sets these as reminders in my calendar so I am able to create the time to set the tone. Even if I am away from my desk, or I am driving, a quick recollection of three good things can really change the trajectory of my headspace in a moment and for the time ahead.

Why? Increased productivity and positivity. This sets the tone for how the day will go and how we interact with others. Mood matters. This frames the culture we have within our unit. It is not always seeing the bright side but deeper to take a look at the good that does exist within each of our own lives. The collective power of this mindset within a team, unit, or organization can drive meaningful change and help make good things happen for people.

This is how I take attendance while teaching at Drake University as well. At the beginning of each class, I request “tell me three good things since the last time we saw each other.” It makes me smile because with this age group, food and sleep are very important! I explain to my students that the work is going to throw a lot at them throughout their lives. It is my job to expand their minds not only with the topic of the class they are attending but in tactical knowledge to benefit them in the future. This exercise adds an additional skill to utilize to exit my classroom better than when they entered. The three things activity is one I find incredibly helpful and I tell them how this has helped me during trying times of some very dark days. I explain if you can remember YOUR scope of control and how you can always find the good to keep going, you will continue to build your resilience throughout your career/life/relationships. And then I meaningfully tell them I hope they take this exercise and use it... and as you grow older, use it with your teams, your classrooms, your children…anyone with whom they have the power to influence.

                Why? With my students, I explain the following in an email at the end of the semester:

By sharing three things:

1. Each one of you was able to be seen, heard, acknowledged... & for those few minutes, the time & moment was YOURS.
2. It cultivated positivity. Positive mindsets/happy brains are more susceptible to learn.
3. Health benefits of gratitude!!
4. I was able to learn (as were your peers) how you choose to spend your free time, what you valued, & what made you happy.
5. Human connection is a beautiful thing...we need to do more of it!
6. It is my job to set YOU up for success. There is no greater beginning to set the stage than by this exercise. YOU can take this with you in life to #bethechange.
7. I cannot control what happens to you outside of the classroom, but I can control how our classroom feels, supports, and create an optimistic culture for you to thrive. This is what I hope you felt so you were encouraged to try new things, fail, and grow. 
8. Easy ice breaker. :) 

We can make the world better for one another. Start with your own three things. Ask a friend for theirs. As your team at the next get together, even if it is on a video platform. Take the time. It will improve your conversations, communication, and relationships. You can start by writing yours below.

1. _______________________________________________________________________
2. _______________________________________________________________________
3. _______________________________________________________________________

By Claire Muselman

Claire Muselman is the Director of Workers' Compensation for a regional insurance carrier, Professor at Drake University, and life-long cheerleader for making good things happen for people.

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