Leading Through Loss: When Grief Joins the Meeting 

Leadership Link

The Issue: The Unseen Weight Women Carry While Leading 

Grief is not always loud. It does not always show up in tears or time off. Sometimes, it walks with us quietly into boardrooms and Zoom calls. It lingers behind our smiles and settles in our inboxes. Whether it is the death of a loved one, the loss of a relationship, a miscarriage, a diagnosis, or even the slow erosion of a dream, grief shows up. Grief shows up even when we try to hide it. 

And for women in leadership roles, the pressure to keep going is real. They must hold space for others while holding themselves together. They must show strength, clarity, and presence when unraveling internally. 

Work does not pause for loss. And many women are left to navigate sorrow in systems that expect emotional invisibility. 

The truth is, grief is not weakness. It is a teacher. And when we lead through it, not despite it, we lead with authenticity, depth, and extraordinary compassion. 

Why It Is Challenging 

1. Workplaces often lack space for grief. Many organizations treat loss as a “personal issue,” leaving little room for emotional integration. 

2. Women are expected to keep it all together. They are pressured to stay strong, care for others, and return to work quickly. 

3. Grief is often invisible. Not all grief is socially recognized, such as infertility, divorce, or lost opportunities. 

4. Fear of being seen as fragile. Women may worry that showing emotion will undermine their credibility. 

5. There is no playbook for grieving and leading. Most of us were never taught how to carry sorrow and lead simultaneously, yet we are often placed in this position multiple times throughout our careers.  

What We Can Do for Ourselves: Leading with Grace While Honoring Our Grief 

1. Acknowledge the Grief—Without Judgment 

Grief does not follow a schedule. It may appear in waves, weeks, or years after the loss. Name it. “I am grieving” is not a weakness but a self-honoring truth. Let yourself feel what you feel, even in small moments. Give yourself permission to be human, not just productive. You can lead and grieve at the same time—and still be extraordinary. 

2. Identify What You Need—Then Ask for It 

Do you need flexibility, quiet, extra support, or simply acknowledgment? Do not wait for others to guess. Be your own advocate for what you need. Grief is not one-size-fits-all. Your needs may shift, and that is okay. Ask for grace, space, and presence. Let people support you. External support is not a burden; it is a bond. 

3. Adjust Your Leadership Rhythm 

Scale back where possible. Delegate. Slow your pace. Focus on what matters most. Not everything requires your full emotional bandwidth. Set boundaries to preserve energy. Build “grief buffers” into your day, small moments to pause and breathe. Leadership is not about doing it all. It is about doing what matters, with presence. 

4. Let Grief Shape You, Not Silence You 

Grief often deepens empathy, resilience, and vision. Let your story inform your leadership, not define your limit. Share appropriately if it helps you feel seen or supports someone else. Use your voice to normalize emotional experiences in professional spaces. You are not broken. You are becoming. 

5. Return to Yourself with Gentleness 

Healing is not linear. Give yourself permission to not be “back to normal.” Reconnect with joy, creativity, and purpose when it feels natural, not forced. Surround yourself with people who see your heart, not just your title. Celebrate small wins. Sometimes, showing up is a victory. Let self-compassion lead your recovery. 

How to Support Others: Creating Space for Grief in the Workplace 

1. Acknowledge the Loss, Even When You Do Not Know What to Say 

Silence often hurts more than awkward words. Try: “I am so sorry you are going through this. I am here for you.” Avoid clichés like “everything happens for a reason.” Choose presence over platitudes. Say their person’s name. Honor the loss, not just the logistics. Let empathy guide your response, not efficiency. 

2. Offer Support, Not Solutions 

Ask, “What would be helpful right now?” and mean it. Offer choices, not assumptions. Some people want space, others want connection. Respect their boundaries without abandoning them. Make time for check-ins that are human, not just transactional. There is no fixing grief. There is only walking with someone through it. 

3. Create Flexible, Compassionate Policies 

Advocate for bereavement leave that reflects real recovery time. Offer flexible scheduling, remote options, and mental health days. Create a workplace culture where emotional honesty is welcome. Normalize grief-informed leadership and trauma-aware training. Do not make grief accommodation the exception; make it the standard. 

4. Model Vulnerability as Strength 

Leaders can share their own grief stories with care. Sharing stories helps break the stigma, leading by example. Show that strength and sorrow can coexist. When leaders are real, teams become safer and more connected. Vulnerability builds trust, not weakness, but deeper leadership. Lead with your full self, not just the polished parts. 

5. Be Present for the Long Haul 

Grief does not end after the funeral or leave period. Check-in weeks, even months later. "How are you today?" can mean everything. Remember birthdays, anniversaries, and key dates. These moments matter. Keep showing up. Loss is lonely and does not have to be isolating. Be the leader or colleague who does not disappear when things get hard. 

Lead With Heart, Always 

Grief is not an interruption to leadership. It is a profound teacher of what it means to lead with humanity. 

• Make space for sorrow. 

• Honor your needs and the needs of others. 

• Redefine strength as presence, not perfection. 

Because the best leaders are not the ones who feel nothing; they are the ones who feel deeply and keep showing up. 

In loving memory of Steve Ehretsman, 1972-2025. Rest in peace dear friend.  

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