Mission Impossible: Webcam Model Shoots Self in Private Parts

With the dramatic shift in workplace strategies since the pandemic, we have been warning workers’ compensation professionals that employment-related injuries in the home will start presenting unique challenges to the industry. A dramatic on-the-job accident earlier this month in Georgia really drives that point home. It seems a home-based “webcam model” accidentally shot herself in her “private parts” while recording a sex act for her web-based (or is that web-debased?) subscribers. 

Now, I run some risk by presenting this story. I often discuss stupidity in this blog. I have written many times about the stupid acts that men do, some of them involving their own “private parts.” No one says a word about those. However, whenever I write about a stupid action that involves a female (and her private parts), I am besieged with accusations of being an evil and ignorant misogynist. Ironically, those charges often come not from women, but rather from woke men whose man-buns are wound too tight, and whose Grande Vanilla Bean Creme Frappuccino with extra caramel drizzle, coconut flakes, and added cinnamon was apparently not served at the requested 34-degree temperature that particular day. That type of occurrence can just set them off on a tizzy and they end up primed to be looking for trouble. But let’s face it, stupid is as stupid does, and shooting yourself in the hoo-hah while recording a sex scene for voyeuristic perverts is as stupid as it gets. Since I am an equal opportunity sort of guy, here we go…

First, in an acknowledgment of the sensitivities of the topic, and to avoid triggering the woke man-bun brigade, I will not name the actual body part that was shot in this accident. Let’s suffice it to say that the part that was shot rhymes with the capital city of the Canadian province of Saskatchewan. In case you don’t know, Saskatchewan’s capital is Regina. That is pronounced rah-jine-ah. Regina. 

There. She shot herself in her Regina. That should gratify the man-buns; or at least prevent their having a major hissy. 

We have no idea as to what the specifics were around this accident. She at one point indicated it may have occurred during a consensual act with a man who was in her household, although other witnesses indicated she was alone when it occurred. Deputies determined she was alone inside her bedroom when the gun was discharged. One witness reported she staggered into the living room to announce she had shot herself in the [Regina]. We have no idea if the woman has a concealed weapons permit, or if in fact one would have actually been needed. I have friends in Saskatchewan, and they will tell you that their gun laws are quite strict. In fact, they say it is unwise to use or point a gun anywhere near or in Regina. That would seem to be sage advice that applies in our comparative tale as well.

All we can be certain of was this was a performance that really ended with a bang for her subscribing audience.

The model was transported to the local sheriff’s office parking lot, where she was then flown to a local hospital. She has since, like her gun, been discharged. The incident has been classified as “reckless conduct” and charges are not expected to be filed.

Regardless of how this happened, it seems that it is a careless workplace accident. Just because you are play-acting with a gun doesn’t mean it should be loaded with live ammunition. Even Alec Baldwin knows that.

Well, he knows that now.

The headline for the source article read, “Cops: Webcam Model Shot Self In Private Parts.” As silly as it may sound, this prompted the immediate question, “can an exotic webcam model actually have “private parts?” I mean, most of us have “private parts” that are private because we don’t generally wave those parts around for all to see. We keep them, well, private. But if the nature of your job is to share your “private parts” with the world, then are those parts still considered private? It may technically be more accurate to say she shot herself in her public parts. Calling them private parts sounds like mission impossible to me. But I digress….

From a workers’ compensation perspective, I suspect there will not be a claim filed. This model appears to be an independent contractor, therefore lacking the occupational injury protections that regular employees with private parts would normally enjoy. Still, there is a lesson to be learned about the dangers of home-based employment. And with the push to bring independent contractors into the world of workplace protections, a similar event in the not-so-distant future might become a concern for workers’ comp. It is a warning to heed; one where we are not just shooting our mouth off. Or any other body part for that matter. 

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