I'm in Las Vegas this week, where I am supposed to be attending the National Workers' Compensation and Disability Conference. I think, however, I've been misdirected, and it appears I have checked into a conference called ObesityWeek 2019.
I know, it's ironic, isn't it?
There really is a conference running here concurrently called ObesityWeek 2019. I had no idea, but as a large guy who is obese, I feel as though I have been missing out on something. I mean, what happened during ObesityWeek 2018? Or 2017? Is there an online repository I can visit to learn how to improve my obesity? To be the best obese I can be?
My first indication that this conference was being held came when I checked into the hotel. I am staying in the Delano, which is one of the three hotels that make up the Mandalay Bay complex. As I got off the elevator on the floor where my room was located, I came across a digital sign displaying that all the meeting rooms on the same floor were reserved for “ObesityWeek 2019.”
I suppose they needed all those rooms because, well, a bunch of obese people probably need more room to mill about than average conference attendees.
I couldn't help but wonder what the food is like at ObesityWeek 2019. Maybe they are “All You Can Eat” buffet's, featuring a variety of salty pork products and other high fat content. One friend speculated the opposite, saying, “Man, I bet their lunches suck. They probably serve carrot sticks.”
But here is the real shocker. After a few days watching these people come and go, it appears that they are all thin. Ridiculously thin. I'm the only fat guy on the floor. These people don't know the first thing about being obese. They should have me as their Keynote speaker. I'd whip them out of shape in no time.
But then again, they may not need my help. I found the conference website, and it shows that on Sunday alone these people had 6 Lunches. They had the “From PUF to Podium Luncheon,” the “Fellowship Directors Meet and Greet Luncheon,” as well as the “Lessons Learned Luncheon,” the “When Providers Don't Agree Luncheon” and the “Managing Difficult Encounters with Patients Luncheon.”
It seems that, during Obesity Week, there is a whole lot if lunchin' goin' on. After all that consuming it is good to see they are offering the session entitled “Bariatric Endoscopy Hands On.” I am no medical expert, but I have long felt strongly that endoscopies should be “hands on.” Otherwise there is no telling where that scope thingy is going to end up.
The same advice applies to colonoscopies as well. That really goes without saying.
Or it should have.
This just in: The ObesityWeek 2019 excursion to “Trampoline City” has been cancelled for undisclosed reasons. The Hillshire Farms Snack Packs are being pulled off the buses and will be available for a mid-morning snack.
So, it appears that while I came here to learn the latest on workers' compensation, I also learned that there is a conference dedicated to obesity. Maybe one day they will let me Keynote the event.
Robert Wilson is President & CEO of WorkersCompensation.com, and "From Bob's Cluttered Desk" comes his (often incoherent) thoughts, ramblings, observations and rants - often on workers' comp or employment issues, but occasionally not.
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Bob is an accomplished speaker for the workers' compensation industry. He is available for conferences, corporate events, children's birthday parties and Bar Mitzvahs. You may access his Speakers Brief here.