Workers' Comp Fraud 101: Lesson 2 - When Shot in a Sex Club, Don't Lie About It
I don't even know where to start on this one. I suppose I should mention that, as of this writing, the people I discuss have not yet been found guilty of fraud; their case just went to the jury yesterday. A man, shot in the back at a San Francisco sex club named Twist, is being prosecuted for allegedly falsely claiming the shooting was work related. I will attempt to explain this in, um, as nice a manner as possible.
Ok, on the night in question, guy #1 claims he was engaged in sexual activity with the wife of guy #2, while guy #2 was performing a similar function with the wife of guy #1. According to John Alfonso Smiley (who in this story is guy #1), guy #2, while in the middle of performing with guy #1's wife, looks at guy #1, recognizes him as a prison correctional officer, and being an angry parolee, stops what he is doing and shoots him.
Of course, Smiley did not originally report it in that manner. He and his wife claimed to SCIF that he was recognized by a parolee in a bar, and that he was shot while leaving because he was a prison employee.
Apparently getting shot in a sex club wife swapping episode may not allow you to qualify for workers' comp.
Now, believe it or not, here is where it gets weird. The prosecution claims that there was no felon, and since Smiley was only a correctional department bus driver, he would likely not even be recognized, let alone targeted by a pissed off parolee. Instead, the prosecution contends that, in the middle of the aforementioned sexual exchange and related activity, the assailant got upset when Smiley was apparently having a problem with his condom and shot him. I am not clear on whether it was a latex based wardrobe malfunction, or if Smiley was just using his condom in a manner not intended (I'm thinking finger puppet).
Prosecutors contend that Smiley, who was paralyzed in the shooting, and his wife fabricated the story about the felon in order to collect up to $2.4 million in a workers' comp settlement. No arrest has been made in the case, which defense attorneys believe helps the prosecutors assertions. They claim that a felon shooting Smiley would be justification for the claim, given his profession at the time (he has been terminated by the department).
So questions still linger. Who shot John Smiley? And where does one conceal a gun when doing another mans wife in a sex club? Would you need a special permit for that type of concealed weapon? Indeed, we may never know, and in the case of concealment we may never WANT to know, the answers to these questions.
What we do know is that they initially misled State Compensation Insurance Fund by telling a false story about being confronted in a bar. And as our mother and George Washington taught us, lying is a bad thing. It certainly does not help their case.
So the lesson for today is, if you are shot in a sex club by the husband of the woman you are having sex with while he was having sex with yours, just tell the truth. People will generally understand. Really. They will.
Oh, and don't use your condoms as finger puppets. That just pisses people off.
Robert Wilson is President & CEO of WorkersCompensation.com, and "From Bob's Cluttered Desk" comes his (often incoherent) thoughts, ramblings, observations and rants - often on workers' comp or employment issues, but occasionally not.
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