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Got my dad settled, almost in nursing home
What a sad thread but a very informative one. I have never been through this with my dad or Bill's parents. My mom is 86 and still working.

Although I was POA of both of my in-laws both had full control of their minds when they passed, it's their bodies that gave up. so very sad to watch someone you love go into another state of mind.

Red thank you for more info on Alzheimers. Must have been a blast at the pageantSmile

Bodybuilder...I am so glad you have gained POA and are in control now. With the help of meds you will see your dad again. God bless you and him.
Red, good to hear from you. You are absolutely correct. My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimers a year ago. In hindsight we have seen signs of it for some time, but attributed it to other factors.

Alzheimers patients will struggle for the longest time to hide what is happening to them. At the point that confusion overwhelms the cognitive process is where they often lash out. My mother, who has had a rock solid marriage to my father for 63 years, suddenly started accusing him of being out all night with his "floozies". She was extraordinarily mean to him. This was happening for some time before any of us (the children) knew about it. My father would not say anything. It came to light when one of my sisters was visiting. The stress initially made him very ill, although for better or worse he is now coping the best he can.

Today my mother still lives in her own home (although she is often convinced that it is not her home), and her father and mother visit her often (Both died 3 decades ago). In fact, when we recently all visited for my father's 90th birthday, she wanted to make sure the guest bedroom sheets were changed for my sister, since her father in law had been staying in there (also dead since the '70's). Occasionally my father will be "gone somewhere", but there is someone there who looks like him.

Alzheimers is a hideous disease that not only destroys the mind, it steals your dignity. A terrible, terrible thing to see happen to someone you love. Even more difficult when you are separated by thousands of miles. (They are in Farmington, NM, and I am in Sarasota, FL)

BB, I hope the best for you and your father, and I am glad that he will be in a place where he will be cared for. Do not be embarrassed by his behavior, as the person you see doing that is often frightened and confused. It is not the same person you knew before the illness. They cannot help themselves. I would also be reserved in my expectations about their ability to "participate in their life", as you put it. I strongly recommend you read the book "The 36 Hour Day". It was very helpful for me.

Best of luck to you.
Beautiful post ADMIN...thanks for sharing with us. My prayers will be with your parents and you.
my Mother is in the early stages of Alzheimers....and is mean as all get out...she was always a mean person but hid it from strangers now she attacks them as well.....I have to force my self and the kids to go visit...I explain her problems and make sure the kids stay out of her way we always stop at the nurses desk and ask how she is...if she is in one of her bad moods the kids go out and spend time with other residents and Bill and I go in....Carrie likes visiting with the older people and Shae loves playing with the ones who have returned to "her" age the nursing home have cats and Daniel will search them out and play with them
........I love cats, I just cant eat a whole one by myself......

Prayers going up for all of you dealing with a parent and Alzheimers.
May God send his angels to hold you in his arms
There but for the grace of God, I have never had this illness in my family, I have delt with it over the years in many patients. Years ago patients were placed in mental hospitals. Now that research has diagnosed it, The medical field has a different outlook on how to treat and care for these patients My Mom will be 90 at the end of Jan, and has some memory loss, but not enough that she can't still live alone and take care of herself. We ( sisters) visit weekly, and call her daily.

BB Good luck with all you have done for your father. He may not know, but others understand.

Admin. Great post and may your mom and Dad have the Lords blessing, It is so hard to be away when you want to be there for them

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