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I think I just got kicked in the face
#21
Still in Limbo,This happened to me yesterday. I went to a community center where they were giving out free fresh vegetables and fruits.And to the friend who wrote me that email I would say this," While I was waiting there in line,I met some very nice people who were there because they needed help right now and I felt nothing but good around me.I felt a humbleness and thankfulness that I am happy to have experienced and would not have had I not needed help at this time also." So there is the silver lining.
Bethsha211 Big Grin
 
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#22
Jayne,

Your post spoke volumes........you will never walk alone as long as anyone is here. I agree with that phrase you posted sooooooo much.

Hey Limboooooooo,

How ya doing my friend? Good to see ya!

Beth,

You did some good things by going and apply for assistance. You just hang in there. If God takes you to it, he will see you through it.

God Bless everyone and I love ya'll!

Cajun Hugsssssss,
MJC
Lumbar Laminectomy L5 - S1, Lumbar Disectomy L 4 -5, Cervical Microdisectomy C-4 -5, Cervical Anterior Fusion C 4 -5, Cervical Anterior Fusion C 5 - 6, Lumbar Disectomy, Laminectomy and Foraminotmy L 3 - 4, Cryo Surgery Lumbar. --Ongoing Problems.. Permanently Totally Disabled.
 
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#23
Good Morning all.. first Beth I believe you have raised a topic for discussion that will help all. Alot of time, the feelings and emotions that most of us encounter at one time or another, another on this forum has encountered. We never know when we share our situations how it might help another. And for me, that is and always be the best therapy that I can receive it to know that I have helped someone else through whatever misery or issue that I am experiencing.

As usually I didn't experience loosing friends because of my diseasee process or an injury, but I have experience and continue to experience association with people who have no understanding of MS and its affects on a person body or mindd. What it reminds me of that as soon as you loose the ability to do something for them, they forget you exist and such as in Beth's situation refer to you as negative. I have never thought of myself as negative, but I learned early on, that if I mentioned some difficulty or difficult decision that I must make about the treatment plans of the MS, I am referred to as negative by my family. You see it is not only friends who can do this to you. For me it is my family in Oregon.

I am on a trip and I am sorry that I have come. I am happy to see my grand daughter and my daughter, but I am sorry to comee here to see my family. They just have a way of talking about me, in a way that I can't understand any more and will not accept any more. I accepted it all my life, and now, I can't. I am not a negative person at all.. I love people and want to help people when ever I can.

This week has reminded me of a story about a situation I encountered on an airplane or at the Chicago Airport in 1995 when i was on my way to a seminar in Bethesda Md. I was in the airport and sitting waiting for my next leg of a trip. I had traveled at this point almost 23 hours from Okinawa and was really getting tired and was experiencing the first of what I know now to be related to MS. It was during this trip that I was diagnosed with MS.

However, this is not about MS. It is about a women who was sitting behind me in a chair and began to cry lightly. She was an older women about 70-75 years of age, walking with a cane, and very tearful. I could not help myself, I asked her if there was something I could do for her. She looked up at me through tears in her eyes and simply stated, they put me in a window seat. then I looked over my shoulder better and saw that she had a large knee with a brace on it. I asked her where would she like to sit and she said I need to stretch this leg out to prevent the pain and my plane was canceled and so they moved me to this next one. I quickly found out that her destination was the same as mine and we were traveling on the same plane. From there I looked at my ticket and was so happy, thought I had the answer. I was sitting in a isle sit toward the front of the plane and she was in a window seat toward the back of the plane. No problem, I could trade places with her. I was so happy that I was able to help this women who had just had a knee surgery and was traveling from the west coast to the east coast to live with her family.

I helped her onto the plane and showed her my seat. I then said my good byes and started to continue toward the back of the plane. The stewardist stopped me dead in my tracks and said she ... pointing to the older women can't sit there. I was amazed and just said "why." Then I explaned the older women's situation. The stewardist saidd, that is an emergency exit and the people on that isle must be strong and cabable to help during an emergency to remove people from the plane. Of course it was obvious that this older women could not do that. I thought ok, and ask a few people the close proximity if they would trade places with this women so that she would not be in pain from inability to stretch out her knee.

Do you know that there was not a singe person who would simple move to her seat and give them theirs on the isle, and that this older women was forced to move to the back of the plane. I was so outraged and just plane sick that we as a people had come to this.

So what is this saying. What I am saying is that people are unable to look beyoud their own needs to the needs of others unless they have walked in their shoes. They may have a little sympathy which is not what most people on WC or people with a disaese such as my self want. What we need is a little empathy. The ability to walk in my shoes and understand why I am saying what I am saying. I believe at least right now that people just can't live except in that white picket fence for the most part, and if you are hurt or have a health issue that impacts that white picket fense that they put around themselves to protect them from being human as God made us. We will all grow older and we will all die someday, but to say that .. is that negative or just a fact of life as we know it. Is it negative to say that we are in pain and that we are unable to work as a result to that pain. I don't believe so, but I do believe that it may be seen that way because itt is not something people have developed coping skills to live with. I know this is long ... just a few thoughts..and I would absolutely agree with Monster, do not rule them out as friends, but maybe rule this out as having the strength to tear down their white picket fense in their lives and be of assistance to you or to be a ear for you. They will be there in the fun times and with you during yo ur joy, but maybe unable to bear your pain with you... we are here on this computer thought this screen can bear the pain with you. That is what is so wonderful about having this on line family. I have realized on this trip that my family does not know me at all... that you on this screen know me far better... and that you know the real me.. maybe not all the physical appearance or facial changes as I talk, but the real me, the one inside and I am so thankful to have you all to talk to you... you are a life saver... Red
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
 
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#24
so my friend how does this effect your move?how can you move somewhere you will be so unhappy?In the military(as you know) we are told you can never go home cuz it will never be home again..people change as things around them change.....we all grow in different ways home is never the way you remember cuz they also have grown in ways different than our own.....sometimes a visit is the best thing to keep us from making a very bad mistake....I love my Grandbabies but couldnt ever live around their parents for long as they are no longer just my children but homemakers in their own right doing their own thing blending with their spouses and well not always the way I DID IT.....and I sometimes take it as a slap in the face....and its not, just them doing what I did...... making my own home the way I wanted it....I am sorry your visit home wasnt good......maybe the memories will be nicer softend with time......love ya and wish I could just hold ya while you cried out the frustration.....know in sprit we are all there with you and holding your hand
........I love cats, I just cant eat a whole one by myself......







 
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#25
Red,That is so sad about the elderly woman on the plane.From my friend I didn't want sympathy,but a little understanding would have been nice.Thank the Lord that not all people are without compassion.
Bethsha211
 
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#26
jayne, I am not sure at this moment how it effects my idea of a move. I know I have a daughter living here now and I know that she wants me to come here. I also know that my husband is not effected by the non sense as I am, but mostly that is because it is my family not his. I have some issues to work out that is for sure, and I am not completely sure the direction that it will take me. Time will tell I guess.. love you all Red
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
 
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#27
red sorry your visit has had its ripples its not the devil trying his hand at us is it? please try to enjoy the rest of your trip and dont let things bother you hubbie is telling me how much he to is looking forward to meetig you and del ,jayne and bill and who else is going to be there we are family and were going to talk old times like were old folks hes a talker you will find that out we want to compare acsents ,i dont have one but some of you might lol please lets not look back but forward to better things to come may god bless and bring us all to gether safeley love ya all
worry changes nothing prayer changes every thing
 
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#28
Hi Beth, Sorry to hear your friend responded to you in such an uncaring way. I sure can't offer any more advice as everyone here as has. But I would go a buy a nice card and send it to the friend...saying "at this time I am still hoping to have your friendship...as it was in the past. But currently I am needing to take care of myself" And you hope to talk with him soon. By sending the card you are letting him know you are choosing to take care of yourself. Also that you hope you will still have his friendship. I do believe most people just don't know what to say...when things happen. But by sending cards you are still leaving the door open. I have always tried to keep my injury and all my wc problems away from friends, co workers etc. And remain postive as much as possible...I can't say that some friends didn't shy away at first when injuried...but whenever I had surgery..my employees & friends came and seen me..sent cards and flowers even my boss. But like they say...real true friends can only be counted on one hand...and the rest are mostly likely fake. And the real true friends do change over time. Please know that this forum is a place to just maybe make those new true friends. We can not make others truley understand what has happened in our lives....Just like Still in Limbo friend it took a few years...so we sure don't want to break off all the ties with our old friends just give them the time. I try to send cards to my friends. Just to say Hi. Their Birthday. Holidays. Just so they know that I am still the same ole me. If they call and I know I am not in a very good mood....I don't always anwser the phone. And I try to never bring up my medical problems or WC. Rambling sorry.
 
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#29
Spring,I like your idea about sending a card.I don't like losing anyone that has been a friend,certainly not because of the WC/IC.And I think you are right about not talking about injuries.No one wants to hear about it.If I need to talk about it,I will just come here and release! Big Grin
Bethsha211
 
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