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Depression...Need to talk!
#1
I injured my back at work, june of 2011 and have been out of work since. I had my first surgery Nov 2011 and a second surgery May 2012. I don't really know where to start. I feel like i'm going crazy and can't clear my head of the million thoughts going on. Nothing seems to help and i mean nothing. I've been battleing depression my whole life from a very rough childhood. From a very abussive, drunk father and losing my mother at the age of 11 and put in state custody at the age of 14. I then went to a foster home at 15 and was out on my own by the time i was 17. for three years i seen a Psychiatrist for all of the issues i had as a child. I'm now 37 yrs. old and I have never had such a hard time with it as right now. I don't know why I can't shake it. This back injury has put me down. It's all I can do to get out of bed. Most of the time I only get a couple hours of sleep a night. I have been married for 18 yrs and have 2 children and i have never had to depend on anyone but myself. Now i can't do anything i once loved to do and i'm constantly asking my wife or kids for help. This kills me. I can't bare the thought of losing eveything I have worked so hard for my whole life. I feel like everything is just coming apart. I can only walk with a cain and I will probably lose my job. I have had to file for SSD and still waiting for some kind of answer form them but I only have a couple more weeks before i'm at MMI And I already can tell you i cannot stand on my feet for an 8hr. shift on a production line which means I will not have a job and no income. I was told SSD could take up to 2 yrs. to get approved because of my age. I couldn't live with myself if I put my family out on the street because of this. My wife works during the day but my 2 boys don't even like being around because i'm always asking for help and in a bad mood because of the constant pain. So they stay down the road at thier gradfathers as much as possible. Needless to say I don't have much of an education so any type of office job is pretty much out of the question. I have only worked 2 jobs i my life construction and production. not very many options out there. I'm really in limbo for now, until I reach MMI and the doctor sets the restrictions. I just feel so useless, worthless and soooo alone. I have a long list of medical issues but my back seems to be the most debilitating. I just need someone to talk to. I don't have any contact with any of MY family there all a bunch of trash and it would only make thing worse to even try.My wife and 2 kids is pretty much all I have. Does ANYONE have any suggestions for me? Please help!
Thanks,BamaJ
 
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#2
Bama - First and foremost I would contact your treating Dr and let him know a/b your depression.. My nurse case manager ask almost everytime I go for a visit if I have been feeling depressed, as its a "common" thing for those in pain. Hopefully when you call the Dr he can get you it right away and recommend something to help you.. If you have an attorney let him know as well, or your case manager if you have one, maybe they can speed up the process of getting you scheduled in for a faster visit.

I too have to rely on others as well. I sometimes go into another room so that I can stay away from them as I don't want them to see me in pain either. I understand that you have to ask others to help you do things as well..

But the MAIN thing here is to treat the depression, as that will help you out in MANY ways


Good Luck



 
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#3
(07-31-2012, 04:37 PM)BamaJ Wrote: I injured my back at work, june of 2011 and have been out of work since. I had my first surgery Nov 2011 and a second surgery May 2012. I don't really know where to start. I feel like i'm going crazy and can't clear my head of the million thoughts going on. Nothing seems to help and i mean nothing. I've been battleing depression my whole life from a very rough childhood. From a very abussive, drunk father and losing my mother at the age of 11 and put in state custody at the age of 14. I then went to a foster home at 15 and was out on my own by the time i was 17. for three years i seen a Psychiatrist for all of the issues i had as a child. I'm now 37 yrs. old and I have never had such a hard time with it as right now. I don't know why I can't shake it. This back injury has put me down. It's all I can do to get out of bed. Most of the time I only get a couple hours of sleep a night. I have been married for 18 yrs and have 2 children and i have never had to depend on anyone but myself. Now i can't do anything i once loved to do and i'm constantly asking my wife or kids for help. This kills me. I can't bare the thought of losing eveything I have worked so hard for my whole life. I feel like everything is just coming apart. I can only walk with a cain and I will probably lose my job. I have had to file for SSD and still waiting for some kind of answer form them but I only have a couple more weeks before i'm at MMI And I already can tell you i cannot stand on my feet for an 8hr. shift on a production line which means I will not have a job and no income. I was told SSD could take up to 2 yrs. to get approved because of my age. I couldn't live with myself if I put my family out on the street because of this. My wife works during the day but my 2 boys don't even like being around because i'm always asking for help and in a bad mood because of the constant pain. So they stay down the road at thier gradfathers as much as possible. Needless to say I don't have much of an education so any type of office job is pretty much out of the question. I have only worked 2 jobs i my life construction and production. not very many options out there. I'm really in limbo for now, until I reach MMI and the doctor sets the restrictions. I just feel so useless, worthless and soooo alone. I have a long list of medical issues but my back seems to be the most debilitating. I just need someone to talk to. I don't have any contact with any of MY family there all a bunch of trash and it would only make thing worse to even try.My wife and 2 kids is pretty much all I have. Does ANYONE have any suggestions for me? Please help!
Thanks,BamaJ
Yes. You need professional help. You already know treating severe depression is not a "do-it-yourself" project.
Depending on your state's work comp laws treatment may be covered by the comp carrier -- with strong supporting medical opinion.
Reminder :
........Each state has their own comp system; POST YOUR STATE to get accurate information. Use the search feature to find information from similar questions.
THANKS FOR POSTING.
 
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#4
You need to stop stressing about something that you have no control over and embrace the future even though it may turn out for the worse. You have family who love you and that prevails over anything, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
 
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#5
You need to stop stressing about something that you have no control over and embrace the future even though it may turn out for the worse. You have family who love you and that prevails over anything, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
 
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#6
I too agree with lizdawiz82.. A strong family will prevail thru anything..


I do pray that the dr can help in this situation.. Every state is different but depression is covered here.. Good luck.
 
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#7
I totally understand your situation but right now you are your worse enemy. You keep going negative and dwelling on the negative which equals a negative outcome.

Square your shoulders and clear you mind. You will get thru this I promise. There is always light at the end of the tunnel and you will reach it.

Do you have a Pastor of a Church you could confide in? Someone who will be your friend and help you thru this spiritually?

Never say never; You maybe knocked down put you are not knocked out. In the end you will look back and see what good things that God provides for his children who Trust him in Spirit and Truth.

I get all my strength thru the Lord. My backbone is my Wife and my 2 kids. We live in the Greatest Nation in the World by far.

Pick yourself up, Dust off your feet, clear your mind and start moving forward without looking back.

Gods Speed.
 
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#8
Dear BamaJ,

I agree with 1171 that you need professional help. It's easy for people to say things like snap out of it and so on but it's not that easy.

Everyone has days when they feel sad. These type of temporary blues go away.

Although people mean well, no one that hasn't experienced major depression can truly understand what you are going thru. Major depression isn't something that just goes away. With the sadness and sense of hopelessness comes a whole list of debilitating symptoms and I don't say "debilitating" lightly. It's a very serious medical condition that affects both the mind and the body.

The best thing you can do is seek counseling. This may be covered by WC as a consequence of your physical injury. Although because of your previous history I will tell you it may be a battle with WC. Get help by calling your local hospitals and asking for a list of mental health services in your area. If you have private insurance, ask your primary doctor for a referral. With the correct medications and counseling, you will recover.

On a personal note, I have been thru this. After a work injury in 2006 I suffered a breakdown in 2007. Diagnosed with major depression and anxiety disorder. My career ended when my position was eliminated twice, forcing me to take an early retirement in 2009. Still in 2012, I take depression meds and see a psychologist. My injury was life changing. But the good news is the worst is over. I stay as busy as I can, and try not to think about the events leading up to the major depression. It is still hard at times but you learn how to handle the bad times. There is hope for a future.

I wish you the best Keep posting your progress. Big Grin
Let Go, and Let God......
 
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#9
How does anyone in this situation NOT think about it? It just seems so inevitable. My mother-in-law says cross that bridge when you get there. I have never been the type to wait for something bad to happen before I try to do something about it. It's hard to even think that I could lose everything I have worked for since I was 17. I feel so guilty putting my family through this. It's like i'm draging them down with me and they didn't ask for or deserve this. Money is so tight right now we couldn't do anything more than give my 14yr old son a cake for his birthday which was monday. Now we have to try to come up with money to get school supplies and clothes for them. It's like every time I turn around something else pops up. And I thought about going to WC about the depression but didn't think it would do any good since I've had problems with it in the past. And i'd rather not deal with those jerks anymore than I have to. I feel bad to say this but we don't go to church but i'm sure they wouldn't turn me down if I walked in and asked to speak with some one. I never thought I would be in this situation. In the past 20 years i have not gone 1 day without a job. I have always been the bread winner and backbone in our family. I really want to thank every one that has taken the time to read my posts. It help just to know someone is listening. I never said what my surgeries where, but my first one was a TLIF L3,L4 and L5 fusion then the second one was a SI joint fusion. The surgeon said i have the back of a 65yr. old man.
Scoliosis, Bone spurs, Arthritis, DDD, And had one ruptured disc and one herniated disc, and sciatica. I also have migaine headaches which have gotten worse since my injury. and chronich daily headaches along with the depression and anxiety. It seem everything has been amplified since my injury. I'm now on 7 different medications wich have there own side effects. Well this is my story and i just want to thank everyone again for the help and encouragement.
Thanks, BamaJ
 
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#10
encouragement is not enough.
seek professional counseling - with your past experience it could become chronic and far worse then the back condition.
in workers comp aggravations are new injuries so past occurrences don't negate a claim.
Reminder :
........Each state has their own comp system; POST YOUR STATE to get accurate information. Use the search feature to find information from similar questions.
THANKS FOR POSTING.
 
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