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Teaching our kids

The other day I wanted to get some stuff to put up a few shelf's in the shed. First bad part besides walking around getting everything together was having to find somebody to help get one board. This was because the shorter boards are up on a second level and I can't climb the stairs.
Any way as I was on my way home I got to thinking about the things I've not taught my youngest son. Now I knew I was going to have to have him do 99% of the work to put these up and we got them done today while it was nice out. Even him doing so much I'm still sore.
Why I started this post was this got me to thinking about all the things we have not done because of my injury. Things that I can't do any more and things he would learn from. Now things like putting these shelf's up he had to learn some things but I could only tell him and not show him. Just makes me sad to think about things like this that this injury has taken away from not only me but my family and no amount of money will ever fix this.

Manley, I can so relate to your post.. This fall it will be 7 years after injury and my oldest was only 13.. There has been so many things I could have taught him but he had to learn by himself.. For instance, me sitting in a chair by his truck not being able to get underneath to show him how to change his clutch.. Instead I had to talk him through it and took 2 days because I couldn't stay out there.. Now my youngest will suffer the worst, but hopefully between my talking and his older brother showing he will understand how.... There is no money to replace this circumstance, wc injuries takes a toll on so many factors.


My daughter was 16 and a sophomore in high school when I was injured.

It was 3 years fighting in court before I had the total knee replacement. During that three years I had great difficulty walking even with the use of the cane. I could only go somewhere if I could park closest to the store door as I could only take so many steps before the knee would collapse and I would risk falling. Once I got inside the store I had to sit down and wait until a scooter was available.

Those 3 yrs. were a critical time in a high schools girls life where I wasn't able to be as active in her life as I would have like to have been.

My youngest was 5 when I got injured and he will be 14 in a little over a month. Some of the school things it's almost impossible for the wife and I to go to because of sitting on bleachers so we miss out on somethings. There are times I'd love to have a scooter so we could get out a do more because of limited walking. Now it is nice to have a 14 year old at home but I hate him needing to be around to help us out. But it also makes me worry about what life is going to be like in the years to come.

Both of my kids were in college when I was injured. I was able to continue there financial needs thru a hardship withdrawal from my IRA.

I came to term years ago with "my limits". I was told do not dwell on what you cannot do; dwell on the new you.

You can get down on yourself and we all can short change ourselves of what we can do. There is always a work around.

Personally, I am so glad my life was spared. I can walk,talk, have plenty of food on the table and overall life is good. Was it easy? Hell no, but my faith pulls me thru. We have managed to become debt free after settling with WC AND 2 years of back pay from SSA in 2006.

I have a 20 lb max weight restriction "occasionally". We cannot change our past but we know who controls our future. Thats my motto.

Just getting rid of WC forever took a major burden off me and my wife. This is why I wanted to settle with a MSA and not open medical. To be honest, The WC IC would not even consider open medical. They wanted that liability off there backs also.

Had a car wreck in 2003 while on the job. Settled in Jan. 2012 with Indemnity pay and a MSA. Approved for SSDI in March 2006. Was declared PTD at IME in 2009. Took approx 3 years to finalize the WC settlement. ALWAYS use spread language when settling Indemnity or SSA will nail your fanny.

fatboy you gave some great advice. Try not to focus on things you can no longer do, but try to focus on the things you can do and live your life around it.

Like all of you wrote above, I also have a child. I think my injury has helped her learn important life lessons such as empathy for others, and to be thankful for things such as good health.

I can assure all of you that your children have learned a LOT of good life lessons having a parent who is dealing with a disability. Many great people in this world were born in tough circumstances, and used those circumstances as an incentive to make this world a better place.

It is up to parents to teach the children these life lessons, and not to pull them down but push them up in this world.

God bless all of you kind parents who worry about your children, and how your injury may have affected them. Please know, for many of these children will now grow up with much more empathy for others, which is what this world needs.

One great resource I did see on this site was college scholarships for the children of injured workers. For those that qualify, I highly suggest using that resource.

This is a great short article called" life lessons learned by having a disabled Mom". This Mom has no arms and still does her best with what she has.

It is not about the things you cannot do with your children, it is about spending quality time doing the things you can physically do with your children. This may mean doing homework together in a bed, watching movies etc. There will be some things you cannot do but children are resilient, more than you know. I do get the guilt's often as everyone wrote above, but I try to then concentrate on the positive things I am physically able to do with my daughter.

Again, God bless all of you parents dealing with this issue.

I am not an attorney.Anything I write should not be considered legal advice.I am writing from my own personal experiences,which is not from any sort of legal background. You should consult with an attorney over legal issues. In California, if you cannot get an attorney you can consult with an I&A officer.

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