Advise time AGAIN

[chrischris]

Can't add to what others have already said Cap. You know in your heart what to do and you will be strong when the time is just right. Agape love is unconditional, but we can still love the person and hate the condition. You can only help her as much as she will let you. I'll be praying for you xo

[NVworker]

Hello,

I know I am new here but your post really reminded me of what I put my parents through.

Quote:YOU TWO cannot help her.

SHE has to want to help herself, and do it HERSELF, for the love of herself.

Lilly is right. My parents tried everything. I was horrible to them due to my addiction and it was very difficult on my mom. They tried to love me through it, buy me out of it, ignore it existed... it wasn't until my mom finally had enough and said "I love you but I don't like you at all", she asked me to leave and did the tough love thing. She says it was the hardest thing she ever had to do. I say now, it was the best thing she could have ever done for me. The money stopped, the mom I was so close to would not talk to me, I thought she was the worst mother ever, how could she just abandon me? I eventually had to take a real hard look at myself. It didn't happen over night but I did find my way into rehab and took back my life, and of course my mom supported me once I made that choice. 20 years later, I have completely turned my life around and my mom and I are closer than ever.

Just thought maybe hearing from someone who has been on the other side might help :-) You are doing the right thing by keeping your plans for the weekend. You need to take care of yourself and it's up to your daughter to get the help she needs, you just can't take it all on. Sounds like you are a wonderful mother and she is lucky to have you (just don't let her take advantage of that). I hope your daughter gets the help she needs. Good luck and enjoy your trip!

[capricorn]

Thank you, thank you......all

Bag....I figured it was because she was hungover....to my knowledge she's only been drinking again for the two weeks since they broke up BUT her father is an alcoholic and after being married for 25 years previously to him I can say she's been drinking longer than that....Once the booze is out of her and she starts to see this counselor on Saturday I feel she's in good hands.....p.s. Bill keeps telling me to say the word and he'll take care of things;)LOL You're are so right...she wonders why she only meets a$$holes.....Sadly she is a wonderful educated, intelligent professional.... and yet seem sto neve rhave any interst in hanging with people like this...her interest for 10 year has been with men like her father....>Sad.

NV...thanks my friend.....I know I'm doing what's best for us all.....Did it once and her life was wonderful for almost 2 years....she can do it again and so can I.....we don't need to give her money thank God...she has her own place and makes more $$$$ than Bill and I put together......I understand what your mom said....I love my daughter but don't like her right now and don't even want to be with her. Thanks my friend....stick around ..you're are part of the family. Glad you had a happy ending...

[red1030]

Cap... there is really nothing I can add to what has already been said. Working with your children is the most difficult thing any mother should ever have to be forced to do, but by all appearances, it sounds as if you have been doing a great job... keep it up... TAKE CARE OF YOU... go away as some have suggested... get some peace from the city, your health issues, and your daughter... you started another thread about crying that I read this morning... and Lilly is right.. you wonder why you are crying... you are going through so much that you have little to no control over... just know that everyone is here and will always will be here... love Red