For today.... a laugh or two

[bodybuilder1958]

My 'for today' lines, perhaps at times a bit too serious, too thought provoking, too much emotion. So to end this 'for today' a laugh or two

*Boys make good pets
*I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay.
*(Real bumper sticker) Caution blind man driving
*All trespassers will be shot on sight. All survivors will then be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Have a nice day!
*Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
*A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
*All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
*The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
*OK, so what's the speed of dark?
*If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
*What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
*Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
AND I LEAVE THE BEST FOR LAST
*Constipated people don't give a crap

[bodybuilder1958]

Wait, wait, one more
If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!!

[Sadiesmom]

This made me laugh, I needed that today. Keep them coming.