Am I going about this wrong?

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great break-thrus chris. that's fantastic. you are developing some real insights into what's going on with you and others. must have a good therapist.
have others noticed the changes in you?

i think most people respond better to those with a positive attitude - family, friends, co-workers, and adjusters....

one of the great insights from good therapy is just how much we are in control of what we see/perceive and more importantly -- how we respond to them.
continue to practice this level of self-awareness and you will soon start seeing how many others, including adjusters, are not in control.