For today.....forgiveness

[bodybuilder1958]

For today... forgiveness
I harbored a lot of anger for a long, long time over my injury and the treatment I received from my former employer. Carrying a lot of anger around is harmful mentally and physically. So for today try to start healing.
I know I ask a lot, to ask that you start forgiving might cause anger.

But let's try.
BB

[capricorn]

You're right BB...I also carried alot of anger towards my former supervisor and co-workers because of there treatment of me.....I still once in a blue moon get a little nudge after 4 years.....

Having PTSD (non work related) and being in therapy for so many years once tool I learned was to right a letter to whoever you are angry at, telling them what they did to you and how angry and hurt you are..then burn it and while it's burning have sort of a ritual saying out loud that they will never hurt you anymore, are no longer a part of your life in any way, you are over their hurt and no longer angry....then you need to forget about it.....I had to do this twice with 2 different people and it works. Sound a little hokey...but it worked for me.....I have people who have hurt me badly that I in my mind I have never met now. Just one of those tools that helps.

[red1030]

Forgiveness can be a very overwhelming attempt most people that we come in contact with from time to time. I have found however, that often people confuse the definitions of forgiveness and forgetfulness. I find that forgiving is easier if you tell yourself it is ok to never forget. Remembering to not forget is not, however, to hold it against someone or to bring out the harmful situation but it is to assure yourself that you can learn and grow from unpleasant situations and not find yourself making the same mistakes that you did before. I daily hope to learn more about myself and about forgiveness... so much has happened in my life, and yet for the most part, it is a very good life filled with lots of family and friends... If I have done any thing to hurt anyone on t his forum...please accept my humble apology. You are all very precious to me and my life would be very sad with out you all...thanks Red

[capricorn]

Red... I agree with you whole heartedly. Iusually give people a second , sometimes third chance....I'm trying to stop that because my gut instinct is usually dead on with a first encounter.....but I have given lots of chances to some....I have forgiven everyone who has hurt me BUT will not forget...it keeps me safer from allowing them to hurt me again..and also gives me a heightened sense with others. God bless......I hope you are well.

[Tuffy]

In my case, I forgive but I never forget,,,, A lesson well learned.

[Bummer Knees]

I believe common sense is in order with forgivness.

I am one that has forgiven easliy in the past and have been hurt by my actions.

I foregive but do not place myself in the position to be hurt by others if possible.

[Still in Limbo]

There are Many Ways to Forgive, and Many have already been Mentioned in the Replies above!! I Myself try and be Forgiving, and at Times I Find it Very Hard. I think the Reason is when I Befriend a Person, which is a Very Hard Thing for Me to do, I May Expect too Much, or Maybe just Leave Myself Open to get Deceived or Hurt! Either Way, it's a Personal Issue that I have to Deal with, a Flaw in My Make-Up Possibly, but I will try and Work on that!! Thanks Builder for another Fine Thought Starter, I Look Forward to Them Daily!!

[red1030]

Still I understand exactly what you are saying. I guess I am the opposite because I in the past, trusted until you gave me a reason not too. My boss in my last job would always asked me how i was so confident that someone would follow through with something when left to their own to do it. My reply was always one word. Trust. Just as respect begats respect, trust begats trust. When some one gives you trust, it is easy to give that trust back. I for instance will very easily befriend anyone and do the very best that I can for him or her with out any expectations of friendship in return. I believe that expectations are often the root of divorce, loss of friends, and many other social ideals. Another thought is that trust has many different boundaries of definitions that people place on the word. For some it is a simple hand shake and for others it is a contract. Trust is a very interesting concept to be reviewed especially for a group of people who have been injuried on the job. Often I find that an injuried person feel betrayed by their organization, bosses, co workers and possibly their entire neighborhood or community. Trust may take on an entirely different meaning after that sort of experience. I hope this makes sense.

[jayne]

you must at first forgive your self for being human....this is the hardest for me forgiving myself.....I tend to hold others at a lesser leval....if you are my friend then you are my friend warts and all....and I will do all I can for you......I will beat myself up over things I would just let go if others did it.......

[red1030]

jayne... I also understand what you are saying... wow this is really on my mind today. I guess it is nice to know that I am not alone in these many thoughts and concerns where friendship and social relations are concerned. The one thing I have realized in the past 6 months is that I have a very hard time forgiving myself, because even though I do believe what I said above interms of placing expectations on others, I do as you do, place very high expectations on myself...unfortunately when I don't meet my own set of expectations for one reason or another I feel as though the whole world is falling beneath me. While this thread is not exactly about trust, it is about forgiveness... the act of forgiving is highly in tune with having the ability to trust ... trust is so very important in any relationship.

Recently, and this is the last time I will refer to it, but I need to because it still haunts me on this forum, I was very honest about an issue in my life that I was not very proud of. I trusted that everyone on this forum would understand. I was wrong to some extent, not completely but to some extent. Today I read something that I want to write for all to think about and hopefully we can all move together towards a form of forgiveness towards each of us ....and remove all the expectations that we tend to put on one another... which of course is just a society's typical response to any type of crisis.

Integrity is an interdependent realityis simply this: you treat everyone by the same set of principles. As you do, people will come to trust you. They may not at first appreciate the honest confrontational experiences such integrity might generate. Confrontation takes considerable courage, and many people would prefer to take the course of least resistance, belittling and criticizing, betraying confidence or participating in gossip about others behind their back. However, in the long run, people will trust and respect you if you are honest and open and kind to them. If you care enough to discuss openly trust will follow. And to be trusted, it is said, is greater than to be loved. In the long run, I am convinced, to be trusted will be also to be loved.

This is something I read this morning and I thought it had some merit for todays thoughts. However, maybe it just did for me, if it doesn't bring a thought or form of encouragement to you that enhances the beauty of your day... just know you are loved always. Red