This gaping hole in my chest...

[monster]

where my heart used to be hurts so badly. I'm either sleeping to much or not enough. When I do sleep it's either nightmares or I dream they are both still alive only to wake up and have my heart ripped out again.

I'm so lost.....................................................................................

[jayne]

ahhhhhhhhh sweetie I am so sorry...so many changes in your life in the last year....let the good memories fill that hole,,,hug a grandbaby or one of your furbabies.....its gonna hurt for awhile cuz you loved them so much....remember we love you dearly

[RNvic]

Monster- sorry to hear you are having so much to deal with. Know that in time the hurt and bad memories will lesson and the good memories will replace them. Take each day one at a time, look for something good about each day and enjoy it. You have the right to find happiness and move on withyour life. Know that you are on my prayer list daily.

[Bummer Knees]

Monster the holidays are rough after the death of loved ones.

After my oldest daughter died, my way of dealing with Christmas was by over spending.

It help me get thru that first Christmas, but probably not the riight thing to do.

I found some great books to read after my daughter's death and that helped.

I also joined (help in starting) a support group for those that have lost loved ones.

It was tough going to those meetings and sometimes when the meeting ended I would leave in tears. But in the end those meetings very much helped me.

(Only if you are interested) It you will pm me I will do a search of a near by self help support group.

Praying fopr you, Bummer Knees

[capricorn]

Monster...that hole in time does start to close and life becomes "easier". I am with Bummer . After my middle daughter died I had no idea how to breath. Holidays I would hold my breathe until they were over. I just went through the motions. You've had so many life altering changes so close together. Support from thos who understand I found to be a great help....crying......the more you cry the more you heal. It's so very frightening to let go sometimes but necessary to grieve and continue to live. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Bad Boy Bad Boy]

Monster, as the Priest told my wife that was having the same problems. He said, we don't want to let them go, and wish to keep a hold of their hands. Not allowing them to complete their journey. We need to let go. He said to her, to say 5 Hell Marys, thinking of them while saying it. Do this each day. And soon it will pass. Their memories are ours. Their happiness is now their though. We need to allow them to have that.

[Still in Limbo]

My Dear Little Blue Buddy, the Ones You have Lost would not want You to Feel This Way, They would want You Happy. You have a Big Heart, and when a Person with a Big Heart Loses Someone, Sometimes the Pain is Bigger also! Try and Forget the Bad, Remember Good and Loving Memories of the Ones You've Lost, and that Hole will Start to Heal!! My Prayers are with You!!