Down, WAY DOWN

[dipweed23]

Hi all...
I'm having a rough time right now. I am not able to do a whole lot without pain, and have been pushing myself to do some things that I probably should not be doing, but needed to get done.
I fixed my inground sprinklers, because I won't be able to get out and water the lawn after surgery, and finished/stained my deck that I had started before getting injured because I got a fix it or evict notice. I haven't been able to do too much around the house otherwise because of the pain. I did a little laundry today, that didn't bother me too bad at the time, but now i'm sore as can be.
I feel like I'm letting my wife down. I'm in tears right now, because I don't know what to do. If I'm not careful, bills are going to be due before pay, and I can't afford that! I should be working! I need to be.
I'm just so confused and scared right now. I'm putting my wife through hell and she don't diserve that. I went from struggeling at $10 an hour to just about $6 an hour on w/c pay.... HOW the hell do they expect someone to be able to survive?

Sorry so long... need to get it out

[red1030]

dipweed...I hear you. I don't know how anyone can survive on $10.00 much less $6.00 an hour. I admire your strength very much. You are a very up beat young man. Your concern for others is beyond amazing. I am so glad that I have gotten to know you a little bit since you won in the first game. It is a pleasure to know you. I said all that to say, take it one day and one step at a time or this will all overwhelm you.

Also, you must be very careful doing that kind of work or the WC IC will decide not to pay you and you are not released by a doctor to go back to work. WC can do this if they can get a doctor to say that you are able to do your job. If they watch you and you are doing all that work outside especially they will decide that you can work. Then you will be in a hurt and with no pay or you will have to go back to work. They will not take into consideration the sacrafices for pain that you are doing to be able to do it.

Now I want to talk to you about the pain. First, be careful not to do more injury to an injury. As a nurse I have seen many ball players come into the hospital for an injury and get fixed, go back out to the field before they were released and the new injuries are worst than the first time. Be careful that you do not damage something more and make it for life. Here is another reason not to do all this work, the IC will say that the injury is related to home versus to the job.

Next..your wife. I understand your concerns about your wife. I wake up everyday with MS and I say everyday that my husband does not deserve this. If I am not careful, those kinds of thoughts can lead me down a road straight to a very low and lasting depression that will take me months to recover. My husband has asked me to talk to him as soon as I start to have those thoughts and we will work it out. So far, for the past year, it has helped tremendously. Maybe you can talk to your wife about how you are feeling and that will help. You might be surprised what she will tell you.

Also, dipweed..take care of YOU. You must get up every morning and take care of you first. You can't take care of anyone or anything else if you do not take care of you. You are a great person. I want you to remember that especially when your mind starts to race off on all these thoughts about what is happening. Discuss all this with your wife. I know that she will not want you to have these kinds of thoughts. You are close to having a surgery and you need to concentrate on getting well from that surgery. Please understand that what I am saying I am saying out of concern for you and for your wife.

Last, if this feeling stays for very long, talk to your PCP about seeing a counselor or maybe taking some anti depressants. Ouch..I know that sounds terrible, but a lot of people having the kind of pain that you are experiencing do take the medications. There are several factors of which some you have touched on, but mostly because after a while the pain simply wears you out and you break somewhat. Take care of you. This is not a time for you to take care of everyone else.

We are all here to listen anytime you need to vent, cry, or just be down right angry. We understand, I understand and hope that tomorrow is a brighter and more fun filed day where you don't over do it. Load of hugs and best wishes are coming your way.... red (carol)

[grundig]

@DipWeed, I hear ya bud, I Installed under ground sprinkler,s bout 3 year,s ago,,,,found out that was only half the battle.
The maintenance on them is the other half. (mostly not going down all the way when they shut off) Ran a few of the head,s over with the lawn mower a few time,s.
The Wife problem,s must be going around lately, I got some MAJOR Issues with mine lately.
Were working thru them.
Biggest problem is before I got hurt I was working 10-12 hour,s a day 5 day,s a week 8 on saturday, and a lot of Sunday,s.
We just get on each other,s Nerves (no pun intended). I don,t have any Financial problems, I,m pretty good on that .(collecting 3 insurance policies right now.
My problem with the Wife is "I SPOILED HER ROTTEN".
I,m thinking about putting her on a Plane and sending her to Texas, She can see her children and Grand children.
Then when she come,s back I can hit her up with the " I really think we should move to London (UK, England) That,s when all H#%L is gonna break loose.
Now I just need a plan on how to tell her this Properly.
Cause if she don,t wanna go ,,,,I,m still going.
I won,t have any problem finding Employment, 1, I,ve been a Electrician for 31 year,s 2, I,m a Certified Electronic Technician (CET), #3
I,m a Microsoft Certified IT,and #4 I have 3 degrees in Electronic Technology from The University of Michigan, Wife know,s sumpin is up cause I told her she need,s to get a Passport, right now Passport application,s are like 6 month,s to get (start to finnish) . Any 1 care to comment on moving?.

[red1030]

Hi Grundig

Are you from the UK. I have a few friends there. I would love to visit there. How long have you and your wife been married. Don't you think that this is something you should decide together. I understand. I did this sort of thing to my husband once and I am surprised he stayed. Anyway...lets us know how it goes.

[capricorn]

Oh dipweed....I can't put it any better than Carol did. Please,please be careful. You have become such a necessary part of our family here, that no one wants to see you in more pain. Take care of yourself, try to relax so you're in good shape for your surgery. I have to agree with Carol also as far as your marriage goes. I did the same thing. Talked and cried to my husband endlessly and he is very aware of my mood changes now. I try to go to him imediately but if I feel I don't want to burden him , he comes to me because he's noticed. Have faith in her. As far as the depression goes, we all experience it at some point. I can't take AD's so I see a counselor and come here. It really helps me put things in perspective. Please know that my prayers and thoughts are with you. Ice whatever hurts and take it easy. As far as the financial problems go I still don't know how we would have made it the 3 years hubby had no income. We cut everything back, borrowed, borrowed, borrowed. Hubby's parents passed away within a week of each other so the little he got from their estate helped. That still bothers both of us. I know it's hard sometimes to keep your faith, I almost lost it a couple of times. But God is there for us.

CAP

[Lilly]

OK dipweed.....What's the draw in the UK? and why haven't you discussed moving with your wife?.....you just mentioned that her kids are in USA. It is hard to leave one's family behind, let alone moving to a strange country. Please be careful in your actions right now, as it seems you are depressed, bummed , pain racked....so now is not the time to make major life decisions...only with very careful joint (husband & wife) consideration. Getting your pain & health under control is #1 priority, and the rest will fall into place, maybe not at the speed you would like, but it will.
Take care, you are in my prayers. Lilly

[ksgirl]

Dipweed,
I understand exactly what you mean about losing pay. I went from $9.75 to $6 something and it really is difficult. Not to mention the facts that you never know when a check from wc will actually arrive. I'm going into debt even further than I was but I know we will one day climb out of it.
Please be careful and don't over do it. You don't want to be worse than when you started. I figure that all of those things I can't or shouldn't do, either someone else will or it will still be there when I'm better.
You're right Dipweed, your wife doesn't deserve to go through hell, but neither do you. This is something you have to go through together. I tell my husband how much I appreciate his help and patience with me right now. I also tell him that sometimes I need five minutes for him to listen to me feel sorry for myself. I get it out and actually feel a little better. That also lets him know how I feel because I usually don't say much about my feelings of worthlessness.
I hope everything starts looking up for you. Just remember we are all here for you!

[Still in Limbo]

You gotta hang in there Dip! When injuries occur, and they are life changing, it's tough to adapt and some of the emotions you are feeling now are normal. What you don't want to do is let those feelings take over, and become an everyday thing. You are going through a lot of changes right now, and it's O.K. to get a little down, but you have to fight through even if it means getting some Help. Believe me I know, I was hurt at 43, lower back surgery that failed, and I'm totally disabled! At 45 I would give my left arm to be able to finish my deck, and install lawn sprinklers! I guess point being it can always be worse, there are others on here worse than you and I, and they have helped me get through! I hope the Best, and please keep us informed on how your feeling!!

[dipweed23]

Thanks for the support guys. On the deck issue, I barely touched anything except the stain. My dad helpped with finishing the railings, I just held the spacer in place while he put in the boards. I did stain it, but I guess that I supported myself in a kneeling position wrong with my left arm, and it's sore. The lawn sprinklers, I had one section of pipe that had cracked last winter (because I forgot to get them blown out) and two heads where malfunctioning. luckily the parts where supercheap. I had help again, but i think I over did it. you wouldn't believe how much it hurt trying to push those pipes together. I have been seriously thinking about taking some things to the pawn shop to get a little spending cash, because thie work comp check really isn't going to pay bills and allow me enough money for snacks and for the most part food too.
It totally sucks. We had worked it out before my injury, that we could struggle by and make it with 2 car payments. I got a new car because I couldn't afford to keep sinking money into my old one to keep it running....
Now 2 car payments, Lot rent, and electric take up everything we have. Not to mention the cable internet (cheaper than a phone line and DSL or Dialup), and the CC bills.

[red1030]

Wow...dipweed how do you manage all that on what you said you were making. Is your wife working also? I don't think $6.00 an hour would pay my electric bill for just me an my husband much less everything else you mentioned.

If your wife is not working, have you thought about food stamps. Ouch...sit still .. everyone has been on food stamps at one time in their life. I know that I have. My husband was hurt in an motorcycle accident, we had three small children, and I was trying to go to school and working full time as a waitress... and then he looses his income for two whole years. What a mess. Thank God for the food stamps and hud housing. I got my degree and continued working while my husband recovered. The other person on the back of the bic he was driving died so it was very serious. He was only 23 at the time. Very young to have a 4,3,and 1 year old...uh..? Keep us updated about how it goes ok.. We are here with you and want to help in any way that we can. Carol