For all us Grandparents

[jayne]

GRANDPARENTS

>>> 1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful
>>> eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After
>>> she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But
>>> Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably
>>> never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet
>>> paper good-bye...
>>>
>>>
>>> 2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.
>>> He
>>> asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62 My grandson was quiet for a
>>> moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
>>>
>>>
>>> 3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into
>>> old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she
>>> heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew
>>> thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their
>>> room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the
>>> room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was
>>> THAT?"
>>>
>>>
>>> 4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
>>> childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing
>>> made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our
>>> pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was
>>> wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd
>>> gotten
>>> to know you sooner!"
>>>
>>>
>>> 5... My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you
>>> know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said,
>>> "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.
>>>
>>>
>>> 6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word
>>> processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he
>>> asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read.."
>>>
>>>
>>> 7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
>>> decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it
>>> was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I
>>> continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think
>>> you should try to figure out some of these, yourself!"
>>>
>>>
>>> 8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the
>>> lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
>>> Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did,
>>> Billy
>>> whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us
>>> with flashlights."
>>>
>>>
>>> 9 When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm
>>> not
>>> sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "mine says I'm 4
>>> to
>>> 6."
>>>
>>>
>>> 10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother,
>>> "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The
>>> grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool
>>> "That's
>>> interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" "It's simple,"
>>> replied
>>> the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
>>>
>>>
>>> 11 Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a
>>> teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder
>>> pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you
>>> know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy
>>> confidently. 'It means carrying a child."
>>>
>>>
>>> 12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one
>>> day
>>> when a fire truck zoomed past Sitting in the front seat of the fire
>>> truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's
>>> duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said
>>> another. "He's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument
>>> to a close"They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire
>>> hydrants."
>>>
>>>
>>> 13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said,
>>> "she
>>> lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then,
>>> when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> 14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things,
>>> but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!
>>>
>>>
>>> 15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over; you hear gas leaks,
>>> and they blame their dog.
>>>
>>>

[Bummer Knees]

Cute!

My friend the injured RN foundout yesterday she is going to be a Grandma, I sent these jokes to her.

[vickinat]

Lol, I enjoy those.

[Still in Limbo]

Thanks for the Laugh Jayne!!