Hello There, Guest! Login Register
Index    |     Search    |     Members    |     Help

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Woman Jokes

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl..

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.


'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.

'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,

and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'


I know I'm not going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,

pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,

and still be afraid of a spider.


A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.

The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.

He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.

She directs him down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store

to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco

and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.

So, I figure if I have to roll my own ... so does she.

(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)


A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and

neither of them wanted to concede their position..

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,

the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'

'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'


A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day. 30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'


A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be

so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!


A man and his wife were having an argument about who

should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,

and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.

The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and

you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'

Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'

Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it

indeed says ... 'HEBREWS'

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home

and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him

at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence

(and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,

'Please wake me at 5:00 AM .' He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man awoke, only to find it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was

about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,

when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there's always a rough draft before the masterpiece!!
Cervical Fusion 2003, c5-c6. Herniated and damaged Disc L1- L4-L5 S1. Lumbar Spinal Cord stimulator implant 09-2008. Cervical ACDF revision with hardware c4-c5-c6-c7 Sept 2009.
Even though this was a man bashing I found them funny as all heck.... But I do love the cotton balls and string, and yes I will have to do that as a joke......hhhmmmm I wonder what the wife will do to get even...LOL
C_F ...... thanks! I thought they were all good and got a good laugh that I needed.
I Really Enjoyed those, Thanks CF!!Smile
The were all good but the tampon ones was the best
yes I sent the Hebrews one to my preacher.........
........I love cats, I just cant eat a whole one by myself......

ROFLMAO, thanks CF, I enjoy good jokes.

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  woman takes speeding ticket to supreme court California_Help 0 2,420 11-06-2017, 10:41 PM
Last Post: California_Help
  25 liberal/Democrat jokes to start your day bodybuilder1958 13 65,812 04-03-2017, 12:28 PM
Last Post: 1171
  Woman in the changing room (set up) bodybuilder1958 1 2,339 02-28-2012, 01:22 PM
Last Post: lucky
  I am a 'Kept' Woman bodybuilder1958 0 1,705 12-22-2011, 10:18 PM
Last Post: bodybuilder1958
  Cervical Fusion, CompBob! Used Your Jokes This Week admin 2 5,283 08-28-2009, 11:57 AM
Last Post: chrischris
  If it was up to a woman DR. bronco54501 19 7,832 03-30-2009, 01:16 PM
Last Post: MJC
  the perfect woman hurt at work 3 3,198 03-18-2009, 10:28 PM
Last Post: bronco54501
  jokes...rated "R" jayne 12 7,653 11-26-2008, 11:51 PM
Last Post: vickinat
  woman was in a coma----- Rated R bronco54501 4 3,538 11-26-2008, 10:19 PM
Last Post: bronco54501
  some more jokes " Not Bashing Blondes " bronco54501 4 3,412 11-10-2008, 05:08 PM
Last Post: bronco54501

Forum Jump:

Browsing: 1 Guest(s)