This is long so be prepared.... you are all the best, thank you so much Red

[vickinat]

Thanks for letting us know Jayne.

[bagpussinamerica]

After reading all of this I find myself wondering where I come off feeling so bad about myself. I know we all go through some times where it just seems like it can't get any worse.....and then it does. Red, regardless of what you think about yourself at this moment, I can say with my hand on my heart that I admired you when I first joined this forum and still do. You were there to hold my hand when I needed it...remember xmas? And I won't ever forget that. Many people on this forum know you for who you are. Just you. I know that all of us have done things that none of us would be too keen on others knowing. Telling us about your situation will do so much for some of us that are at that point of wanting to "dull the pain", just a little. Ativan is a killer. I worked with so many people dependant on this drug back in the UK, and recently had someone living in my home stuck on it. I wish I had a way to show her your story, but I know she would not accept it anyhow. I saw first hand the paranoia and the false memory. At the time all I wanted was this woman out of my home. I now understand too clearly what her life must be like...if she even knows it herself.

You will be in my prayers, Red. You are one brave woman and you will come through this I know. I thank God that you have family there to support you. And all of these friends you have on here....