Just because................

[Still in Limbo]

Cap., I Hope Every Day gets Better for You, and remember: There are no "Problems", just Situations that We have to Learn to Handle. Handling them One at a Time is Easy to Say and Harder to do, I know with My Recent Bout of Depression, but it's the Goal I Search to Achieve, and will Someday! Your PTSD can as You say only be Controlled by You, and You are to be Congratulated for taking the Steps to do so!! Keep Up the Good Work, and I hope all stays well with You and Hubby! Give Him My Best, and My Prayers still go Out for You and All Every Evening!

P.S.- Hurt at Work, Thank You for Your Statement on Your Reply, but You did the Work, I only Noticed the Situation, because I've Lived it before!! You did it all My Friend, give Yourself Some Credit for It!!

[vickinat]

Cappy, I know you are very strong and will get thru all that is put on you. I'm glad that you have reached out and let us all know what was happenning. I'm happy to hear that you are getting the counseling that you need. It becomes too overwhelming to try and take on everything yourself and then keep the emotions bottled up inside. You need to vent any time you want. Feel free to vent here or just to type out what is bothering you, no one will critisize(sp?)you for getting it out of your system. Also know that you can call me anytime you need to. I hope this post makes sence, having a brain fog today.
Love
Vickie

[capricorn]

Thank you all for your support and understanding. Sometimes being here if I am misunderstood is a trigger for me. Red you seem to totally understand the stress of triggers on the body and mind and also that they can be controlled if one knows what they are. I am still learning as there are multiple reasons for me having this disorder. Please try to understand that it makes no difference to me who is closer that others. That's not why I joined here and it isn't the reason I am struggling to stay. Sparkey ..I agree. Alot would be using self -medicating to get through some of the traumas that have been laid on my lap.I am very lucky in that regard. Jayne..although I don't have the same fears that you do I can understand yours. Sweet...If I make it to FL remember my promise. BK...It's funny because I see you thesame way. MAybe it's what we share and the determination that comes with it. CC and Lilly.... always full of love and comfort for me. Thank you both. Hurt..Thank God I knew he was going through some sort of fear. I can't get into his head when it comes to the cancer and he couldn't get into mine. Sad. Limbo...situations..I like that. Vickie and Grandma..I know how you both feel and know you are a dial tone away. It really gives me strenghth to know I am so close. I have been in touch with a few very old friends from childhood and the nice part is that it's like yesterday that we talked.

Just a little history. I won't go into what happened in my life before my daughter passed to cause the PTSD because that part of it is long gone and forgiven and fogotten. The night my daughter died I rec'd a phone call from the police that she was killed ina horrible car accident. I can still see myself on the other side of the room talking to them on the phone. My mind could not hold it so I dissociated for the first time in my life. I returned to work the day after her funeral. Someone at work might have thought this odd or noticed some signs that there was a problem. My family didn't because they were all grieving. It took me 10 months of space between me and her death to even believe she had died, five years to think I could be normal again and eleven years to be able to work on some normalacy in my life and to talk this publicly about it.Through all of this I lost my best friend of 26 years and my only sister to suicide. I injured my back shortly afterwards and luckily found a great counselor recommened through my Vocational rehab dept. He is now the Director of Psychology in out VA hospital. He saw all the signs and symptoms, both physical and emotional. Did 8 hours of testing and boy did I fit the bill of a PTSD dx. There are certain things that 95% of all people with PTSD think like and have similar ahnd/eye coordination alike. That's how they put 2+2 together when it's not war related, but other traumas are involved. I have been in counseling on and off since 2000. I am on my 3rd counselor and have gained from all of them so I am very knowledgable in my disorder. I have spent a few years with each. One by one I am finding triggers and dealing with them or at least learning to. I have a heightened awareness due to this and a trememdous startle response. My family and a few close friends understand the disorder and know what signs they are looking for when a flare up is approaching. I think the main problem this time was my husband being so sick. He would have seen it immediately. Thank you all for letting me share.

I hope I can continue here.


Best to all.

Capricorn

[snowbear]

Cap, after reading some of what you've been through, I have even more admiration for you. For the last several years that I've been coming here I've found so much wisdom and encouragement from your posts. You are an amazing lady...please don't forget that!! You have an incredible inner strength...yet please know that it's ok to lean on others, including us to help you through. We're here for you Cap. Love, snowbear

[sweet tooth]

cant wait for that promise to be filled , looking so forward to it ,love ya

[capricorn]

Snowbear...it's always a pleasure to see you here. Thank you sooooooooo very much for the vote of confidence. You describe me as my counselor sees me and yet I have lost some of that feeling in myself. It's so hard for others to understand if they haven't experienced it and so hard for me to feel as if I'm not a burden. It's knew to me to seek comfort. This forum and all of you taught me that from day one that I was here. I have always been the comforter, provider. You have given me another push closer to getting through all of this. Thank you. Love you back.

Sweet....I'm hoping and praying we can do it. If I am there the promise holds


Capricorn

[sweet tooth]

counting on it dear just keep praying