Little update

[monster]

Just want to thank you all for your support, it means so much to me as always, especially these days.

In all honesty I haven't been around much cause I am really losing it. I would say I'm only a couple of notches below Uncle Buck at the moment. I am still maintaining my spelling skills as well as communication skills for the most part but often times I am extremely angry, agitated, sad and yes suicidal. Today my atty pissed me off so badly that he was informed in no uncertain terms that I am also homicidal. That one particular statement of course got his attention at which point he asked if I had any guns in the house....helloooo, now you're listening lets f'n talk about my case now and what you can do to help me while I have your attention.

Yeah, I was a bad monster and day by day I am rapidly becoming a worse monster. I'm not proud of it nor of what I said to atty but I'm so tired of being dic*ed around. Both my AME and psych doc want me in the hospital NOW and I refuse to go because I cannot pay the bills that I will be saddled with.

So anyway that's my story whether it be good or bad. I'm hanging in there but it's only by a thread these days. I will take the psych papers to SSI on Monday, maybe it will help. He has me at 61% as far as the psych eval goes. I guess if you add that to the 25% body it makes 86%. Not sure if it worlds like that or not but it does for me...

I'm really sorry to come here and throw this all on you. I'm not doing well and can't hide it much longer.

I see I'm thinking one word and typing different words...have been doing that for awhile now. This really sucks...

monster

I forgot to say that the psych claim has not been accepted and probably won't be. My atty is supposed to set a court date to try and get it. Guess we'll see what happens if I can stay out of jail or the funny farm that longl.