New Office Policy

[admin]

Well, we've had to add a few new rules for our employees:

NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES

The attendance record of this establishment is a disgrace due to your lack of consideration for your jobs, as shown by your frequent absences. It has become necessary for us to review some of our policies.

The following changes are effective immediately:

Sickness (no excuse):
We will no longer accept your doctor’s statements as proof. We believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Death (other than your own):
This is no excuse. There is nothing you can do for them, and we are sure that someone else with a lower position can attend to the arrangements. However, if the funeral can be held in the late afternoon, we will be glad to let you off one hour early providing that your work is done.

LEAVE OF ABSENCE (for surgery):
We are no longer allowing this practice. We believe as long as you are employed here, you should keep all you have and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are and to have anything removed would make you less than we bargained for.

DEATH (your own):
This will be accepted as an excuse, but we will require a two weeks notice. We will also expect you to train someone to replace you.