Been In a Deep Depression

[UndercovrAngel]

For over a month now, I have been in a deep depression, working less than 20 hours a week and when not working, I would come home, crawl into bed and fight myself on going into work the next day. It all came to a head on the 10th, when I was to have had a BRC (benefit review conference). I appeared at the appropriate place and the right time only to find out the BRC had been cancelled on Monday and no one had bothered to let me know. I ended up loosing a full days worth of pay. I lost it not only at the DCW office, but also when I got home and contacted my attorney. Had it not been for my boyfriend coming home when he did (he had been at the other house working) I probably wouldn't be writing this now.

On Tuesday, I had an appointment with the PM Dr for my rsd just to get my meds refilled. The nurse mentioned that not only did I look depressed, but that after talking with me, knew that I was depressed. Later that same day, I had an appointment with the ortho that did the tarsal tunnel release that led to my RSD (PM dr has decided there is more wrong with my foot, ankle, shin, thigh, hip and lumbar spine than he can help me with). So the ortho's nurse calls me back and asks me what is going on and why do I look so terrrible. When the Ortho came in, he basically asked me the same thing. So it is on 2 medical documents that I definitely am fighting depression. Now I have to wait to get another EMG/NCS on my leg to see if anything has changed in that matter, as well as getting another MRI. Once those are completed, I will make an appointment with the ortho to go over the results.

My WC case has gone nowhere since I had the FCE on the 28th of May. We were hoping to force the IC to accept my case with the results, as the DDE that I saw on the 15th of May, still hasn't submitted his report and has been censured, fined and removed from the states DDE list. (And this is the Dr that is supposed to have so much influence over the WC system..what a joke). Now, I have to wait till Sep. 2 at 10 in the morning for my BRC. I will be lucky at that time to have any function left in my hand. According to the FCE Dr, I should not be working, I need and EMG/NCS and an MRI as well as PT at least 2 times a week. It has now been 5.5 months since I started having problems and the only treatment I have received is one shot of toradol from the ER. My personal insurance won't pay for anything now, as I am contesting the claim.

Cap and Back, I am glad that your hubbies have come through their surgeries and are now on the road to recovery. Although I haven't posted, I have lurked in the dark and stayed up to date on all that is happening.

Bummer,hoping that things will turn around for you soon and that your knee will start functioning as it is supposed to.

Vick, happy that you were able to make the greet n meet so soon after your surgery. Hope that the trip hasn't set you back any.

For those that were able to make the trip to PA..sounds like you all had a grand time gettin to meet one another. Loved all the pics that have been posted for all to see.

Hope you all have a grand weekend.. Jayne.. enjoy your campin' with all those kids. I bet the will have a great time with you. Try to have a painfree weekend if possible. I have taken my meds and after a long hard day at work, it is time for me to hit the pillow as my day starts at 4 am again tomorrow morning.

Will be keeping you in my prayers as I have over the past months.

Angel^j^

[capricorn]

Oh Angel...You're going through so much. All I can do is pray that God stays by your side as I know HE is. Thanks you for thinking of my and hubby through all of your heartache and pain. You will be in my thoughts and prayers everyday.

Love,
CAP

[vickinat]

Angel,
I hope you soon get the treatments that you need so much. Thank you for thinking about me, the trip was great to meet everyone, I did overdo it on the drive and not resting the first day, but I survived and enjoyed my self. I wish to be able to meet as many of our forum family as possible. Maybe someday.

I myself had to have another EMG/NCS on my left arm and wrist just this past Wed., the results wer'nt any better than the one 8 months ago and the symptoms have gotten worse with the carpal tunnel and he feels that I have a ganglion cyst there as well, so I have to discuss it with a surgeon on July 30th. This was repaired once about 7 years ago, but when I braced myself with the streering wheel in the accident, it caused new problems.

I hope that you get some meds. for depression if you don't have any already. Chronic pain as we suffer causes depression as well as anxiety. There are some people who don't realize how much stress is involved when you are in pain constantly and having to deal with the bull from W/C. Please feel free to call me or email me anytime that you are having a bad day and need to have someone to vent to. I'm here for you and anyone that needs me. Y'all have helped me cope so many times, we all need to stick together.
Love
Vickie

[sweet tooth]

angel dear you take care of yourself !!! you are precious to us , have you wrote anything lately?you stay on top of that depression now , be sure and get help no matter who has to pay ,YOU are the important one . will be praying may god bless love ya sweets

[Bad Boy Bad Boy]

Angel, you can't fight depression by yourself. Is there anyway of obtaining help. Such as State Aide, or Charity free services maybe through a church or something?

You know your always in my Prayers Angel...

[RNvic]

ANGEL, CALL YOUR DOCTORS, ket them know you are having problem paying for medication and see if they can't help get the medications from the drug reps that come in. You will have to sign for them but one of your doctors should be able to get samples so you can take them and not have to worry about paying for them.

Angels being gathered and sent your way along with prayers.

Tinkerbell

[capricorn]

Angel . also some drug manufacturers supply their drug free to those in need. Walmart has a long list for $4. Please talk to your Dr. It doesn't go away and you don't deserve to feel like you do.

Prayers,
CAP

[sparkey]

Angel I know exactly where your coming from. Last week was the worst week I ever had. I will tell you myself that I even had suicidal thoughts which I have never had before in my life. I have a great family/grandkids/etc. I have so much going on in my life with my youngest brother that was admited 7 weeks ago in a mental hospital because his meds were all off and he was hearing voices. It was very difficult for me to go to a mental place to visit him. He is now finally home and doing well. A job I hate that I have to do now because of my injury , and a brand new harley that i cannot drive still because of my hand. Now has been the perfect weather to go riding with hubby side by side.

My youngest daughter with my two grandkids is moving out in Sept. I delivered these kids ( coached) and love them very much like my own. She has only been seeing this boyfriend for 2 months and I have not even met him yet. My husband did last weekend when I was so sick/depressed that I could not get out of my bed/ with shades pulled etc. I am still waiting on my hearing results. It has been 2 weeks now and I figure I am gonna have to wait another two before I know how much more depression wc will put on me. The more fighting i get for my condition the worse depressed I get. I have been on cymbalta, and now I just stopped it again. Personally since I got off it last week, I am feeling more lively.

I missed a 50th anniversary last week, 2 1/2 days of work ( to lay in complete darkness ) and a graduation party. While everyone was out having fun, i did not want to live, or see anyone. I finally broke down one day and used my script for bloodwork and had a blood test done on Monday. I came back home this week and got a answering machine message from my primary care doctor that they got the results and to call as soon as I can, ( not to be alarmed). I have never had my doctors want to call me about that before. I am worried. Maybe it will explain the way i felt last week.

I have no answers myself as to how to get out of depression. I have tried the meds 2 times. Did not work. I talked to 2 therapist before, did not work. So, I have no answers unfortunatly for you except, relax, take all the time you need to be alone, and remember you have a loving family that needs you and to not do anything foolish. Things will look up soon, you just need to hang in there and fight. Pretty soon you will get sick of the 4 walls and want to get out and will be feeling much better. Please know my thoughts are with you in this terrible time. If you need to talk, feel free to PM me. I can relate to alot your going through right now.

[UndercovrAngel]

Just want to say thanks y'all for your concern, care and support.

I am currently taking 60mgs of cymbalta. It seemed to help for aboout the first 2 or so weeks.. but after that it was downhill. The PM Dr that has me on it.. doesn't want to change it again as this is only my 3rd month on it.

As for getting assistance with paying for meds, I have a prescription plan through my personal insurance, so none of the companies will help with free meds. And none of the meds that I am on are covered under Wal-Marts $4.00 scrip plan. I just need to get my work comp injury approved so that I can be taken off of work. I would actually make more in comp pay (75% of my base pay at time of injury for 26 weeks, then would go down to 70%.. as I make less than the guidelines for only getting 66 2/3rds), and travel pay (about $150.00 each day that I have to go to the Dr in Ft Worth)than I would working 8 hours a day,5 days a week. Not that I want to sit at home.. but it is getting harder and harder to use the computer at work. It's taking me forever just to type this as I am using only my left hand. I just want to get this fixed.. if it can be.. and get back to doing my job the way that it is supposed to be done.

I forced myself to go out to Lowe's and Wally World yesterday (even though it was 101 degrees outside). I started pricing appliances, cabinets (for kitchen and bath) as well as sinks,bathtubs and toilets and countertops, faucets and other misc. items as it won't be long before destruction on the other house ends and construction begins.

Then about 8 pm, I went to put my little dog outside and realized how nice it was. Although the temp said 93 degrees, there was very little humidity and a slight breeze. So I sat out on the porch enjoying the evening..till I almost fell asleep and fell out of the chair. ~LOL~.

We are going to head over to the other house here in a bit. I have 2 more rooms to empty and then we are going to have a big estate sale. Anything that doesn't sell will go to charity..and the proceeds from the sale will be put back into the house. I am going to use the proceeds for curtains, paint, rugs and such. Will probably be the end of this month, or the first weekend of August. We wanted to be into the house by the end of summer, but doesn't look like we will be. So now are shooting to be in by Christmas.

Hope y'all have a great Monday, with as little pain as possible. I've been keeping y'all in my thoughts and prayers.

Angel ^j^

[capricorn]

Oh Angel...I am so glad you sound a little more upbeat. Sorry none of the ideas about meds will help. I am in the same boat. Don't take any of the Walmart approved meds for $4. As far as Cymbalta goes ( I take 20 mg. a day) for depression I noticed it reacts differently when prescribed for different reasons. IF you have nerve damamge and it's prescribed for that it may help the pain but will do nothing for depression. I found it does nothing for my pain but the best drug even at such a low dose for depression. Did that make sense? I read an article about it and for some reason it works differently with everyone. One it helps the nerve pain, one it helps with depression but I have never heard of it helping with both. Give it some thought. Maybe if it's helping your pain you need something else for depression.You're always in my thoughts and prayers.

CAP