One for the Ladies

[Bad Boy Bad Boy]

Mary was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.

She took out her wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?'

'No, I had to stop drinking years ago', the homeless woman said.

'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' Mary asked.

'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said.
'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'

'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' she asked.

'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman.
¡I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'

'Well,' Mary said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'

The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'

'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.'

[monster]

LMAO...that's just baaaad

[red1030]

I really think that is cute.... sorry monster...I agree as a married women, men complain a lot about getting your nails or toes manicured, or just the basics of getting your hair styled etc. They are just too funny on all of this..and yet Del will buy the best clippers and hair cuts and styles around and he complains at me...llollollollol...smiling really BIG..thanks BAD BOY...this one del is going to read...hehehehehehehehehe..love Red

[Bad Boy Bad Boy]

Three Men on a Hike

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large
raging,
Violent river. Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed:
"God, please give me the strength to cross the
river."

Poof! ... God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to
swim
Across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed: "God, please give me
strength
And the tools to cross the river"
Poof! .... God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and
he
was
Able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed:
"God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to
cross
The river"

Poof! ... He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one
Hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.

[jayne]

now thats the truth

[red1030]

that is really good...I love that on badboy...Del has too read this one also.... I will grin the whole time he is reading and really laugh when he gets to the end and gets that sour look on his face...when he doesn't believe something....lol Red

[copchick]

LOL!!! I needed a good laugh today. Thanks.

[vickinat]

That was good BadBoy, thanks for the laugh.

[Deb]

These are great BadBoy - thank you for sharing!!

Here's another one:

A husband and his wife were working very hard to save money. The husband upon returning home from work told his wife that he had saved 2 bucks today by running behind the bus all the way to work instead of riding in it. The wife stopped for a minute and then turned to her husband saying ahhhhh you idiot why didn't you run behind a cab and save us $40.00????

[chrischris]

Thanks for the laughs you guys!