home remedies

[jayne]

1.. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING HOT WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2.. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3.. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

4.. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5.. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6.. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7.. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8.. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9.. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM ...

DAILY THOUGHT: SOME WC ADJUSTERS ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS. (SOME WORDS WERE CHANGED TO MAKE IT FIT OUR FORUM)

[red1030]

jayne that is very interesting... however, do not try #4...that will not work... and as for the adjuster situation, I truly understand your concerns... made me day again. I have missed you all these past couple of days...love you Red

[DH's better half]

Jayne,
I would add 2 things to #7:
Super Glue and Bungee cords.
When I went to NOLA with the Red Cross after Katrina, I had the AmeriCorps kids in stitches because whenever they broke something or needed something fixed they would come to me- I was the only one who thought to bring those 4 items! Used every one at least once a day!

[Still in Limbo]

In the Immortal Words of "Red Green"-"If Your Woman doesn't find You Handsome, She should at Least find You Handy!!!":P

[red1030]

stilll...I like that...I will have to find a way to fit it into a conversation with Del....hehehehe..love Red

[collateraldamage5591]

I like numbers 3, 8 and the thought for the day!

[jayne]

right now in my life that thought for the day fits a whole lot of people

[Bad Boy Bad Boy]

Viagra for men, so they don't roll out of bed at night.