FOR MY FRIENDS

[jayne]

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometimes despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love. I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)

MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!

[halftrak]

Very well put my friend,words to live by.Halftrak

[sweet tooth]

oh jayne how sweet i think im going to cry wish i could turn lose and follow the path you talk about

[Bummer Knees]

Jayne, Thank you, that was beautiful to read.

Remember Tulsa, old you are not.

[Tuffy]

OLD,!!!!!!!!!!! Now talk about old,,,,,,,, I am OLD,,,,,,, OLD as dirt LOL But after reading Jaynes post I have to say I agree. And try to live life to the fullest. Thanks Jayne.......

[Still in Limbo]

Jayne, that was Beautiful!! And it couldn't have Come at a Better Time in My Life! I have just, within the Last Two Weeks, been Diagnosed with COPD, and My Outer Ear Canals have Both Collapsed, and I need a CT Scan on Friday to See what is causing this. I also set in Chronic Pain, and My Med. List is now up to 11 Different Meds. Per Day!!! I"M ONLY 45 YEARS OLD FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!! Before this Injury I was Throwing around Couches and Baby Grand Pianos, and Having the Time of My Life Working, and now I Set with a Weight Limitation of 5lbs. But Thank You, You're Words have given Me Hope, that I will Overcome All of this and be able to Battle On!! Thanks My Friend, and I'm Glad You can Look at Life with such a Great Perspective!!!!

[Deb]

I think that is the best reading I have done in some time now. Very well put Jayne. Thank you so much.

Deb

[jayne]

this was sent to me by a lady in our church ...I dont know who wrote it.... it didnt say but it fit us ,every one

[punk]

Well Jayne, thanks for the great read! I've received this before....but had forgotten about it. With my birthday coming up, as well as my oldest son's I have been doing a lot of "taking stock" of my life and surroundings....don't know why because by the number I suppose I'm not all that old (Still, I'm right behind you!!). BUT with this injury, impending major surgery and all that WC has put me through, etc.....I suppose I'm older than my numbers allow!! Not to mention the losses I've endured throughout.

Thanks.....I needed to see this again!!!

[monster]

Jayne, this was wonderful to read, thank you so much for posting it

Still, hang in there sweetie. You will be surrounded with our love for you while in PA and that works wonders on a persons heart