Need help confussed

[lfoster21]

Hi there, I am so sorry for what your wife (and yourself) are having to deal with. Unfortunatly, it has been my experience that W/C starts taking care of things and little by little they start cutting back or make it more difficult to get the help you need. I can only suggest that you get a lawyer. In VA at least, you pay nothing until there is a settlement at the end, which will be when the Dr. decides that he has done everyting there is to do to make progress. Also, the states tell the lawyer how much they can charge, so you don't have to fear having to pay everything you get, to your lawyer.

Your wife is very lucky to have your support and I can't explain clear enough how important that support is for someone who is feeling like their life isn't worth much. I also know how it can wear on a person's support system, so please take care of yourself as well. You may think that you will always be able to help her, but it will take it's toll on you as well as her. I agree that therapy does need to be looked into again, before she spirals downhill. The sooner a person can get into see a therapist who they can bond with, the less likely they will actually have to spiral down continuously. I would guess that the therapist would also want to include you in the therapy sesstions at times.

Also, as mentioned above, this board is a great place to get your feeling out from inside you and to get the support that you or your wife may need on the days between seeing your therapist. When I read, in your post, that you were trying to be positive but it didn't seem to be making a difference...it took me back to my days of depression and sometimes the more positive people were around me, the worse I felt..because I did not feel like anyone could truely understand me, since I saw nothing positive in my life.

I agree that while waiting to get into a therapy session, if your wife got online and talked with some of us who have experienced exactly what she is going through, that it would be helpful. If she is not up for that, I encourage you to continue to post, because the more you can open up about what your are going through the more relaxed you will be around her, not to mention you may hear things from the boards that you could use to help your wife.

Good luck and please keep us posted. Tell you wife that prayers and thoughts are going out for her and we are here if she needs us.

[Roadrunner]

Hi everyone I have to explain a little here. My wife is forty something(I'm not going to get myself in trouble LOL) and we both grew up in a non computer world. I tried to talk her into coming on last night but computers still intimadate her I'll keep trying.
My wife was a CNA at a nursing home, she really loved her work. She knew her residents family members and cared for each resident as if they were her family member unlike some others she worked with and others you read about. This was the only thing she ever did (CNA) since she was out of high school hospitals,nursing homes, and in home care. Now it's gone she can't do it anymore and I think thats what has really got her down. She is still on meds for depression and I don't want to alarm anybody she just has bouts with some crying but I realize what she has lost but I just don't want her to worry. I have learned by reading on here that I am far more fortunate than alot of folks on here and my heart goes out to them. This has taught me to look for a silver lining because just reading about others courage and willingness to try and help others has made things not so bad for me. I may be getting a little off topic here but I am amazed at how just reading and typing about this has made me feel more at ease and feel everything will work out. Now I must work on my wife at getting her behind the keyboard. Thanks

[jayne]

Tell her I also wasnt into computers till my husband got hurt and I found this place.Then after I got hurt this place saved my sanity it and POGO.com both places thar accept you for what YOU ARE NOT FOR WHAT YOU WERE...tell her there are many nurses on here and Red used to run a nursing home so we know what and where she is coming from.

[ksgirl]

Roadrunner, I am not that great with computers, but this site is really easy to get around on. Admin has made this easy to read, reply, and private message people. I understand that your wife will be unable to do her chosen profession that she loved and that is hearbreaking, but a lot of people are able to get vocational training as a wc benefit. This may be something your wife is eligible for and she may be able to find another career she loves. I wish you both the best and it is so nice to see a spouse who listens and tries to understand his injured partner.

[collateraldamage5591]

Welcome to the forum Roadrunner,
I feel that both of you could benefit from professional counselling to help with your situation. Like Bad Boy said she needs to take the first steps to help herself and you must be supportive even if you do not 100% agree with her choices. I believe that a higher power will lead you both in the right direction if you let it happen. This site has helped me a great deal also. There is always good advice and support here, so hang in there.

[Lilly]

Roadrunner,
if your wife is able to type....she 'll be able to manuever this forum easily.
i also feel bad for the both of you, and can relate to her worries about not being able to contribute to the family and the general USA work force. It's a sad thing to loose and very difficult to make ammends with it. It sounds as if she's already receiving meds from Dr. for depression....but possibly they aren't working and maybe she needs a switch or an up-dose or counciling. Please talk to the doctor about this, if you/her feel she's not what she should be. Sometimes one has to try several depression meds before they hit on a combination that is successful for them.
You sound like a great husband & provider....don't get yourself drug down too...as sometimes it's just as hard on the caretaker...if not worse! Take care of YOU too!
Your situation is a familiar one to most of us on this forum...we can & will listen to you vent, cry, or laugh.....just let it out1
Prayers going up for you two NOW, Lilly

[tweety00]

Welcome to the forum Please just sit and type with us ... We have alot of nurses , truck drivers , and others . that visit this site ..
We all have one thing in common We all got hurt at the job ..
Please chat even If that great hubby of yours has to type for you ... Its just a great release to be able to get some of the fears and our thoughts out into the open ... and to learn anything about this W/c journey .