Thoughts for the Day!!! (Off-Topic)

[punk]

/Thoughts for Today

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, DIE ANYWAY.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a beer in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

25. It ain't the jeans that make your bum look fat.

26. If you had to identify, in 1 word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, & never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

29. You should not confuse your career with your life.

30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

31. Never lick a steak knife.

32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

33. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

34 . There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

35. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

36. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice
person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

37. Your friends love you anyway.

38. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

39. Thought for the day:
Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark.
A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Thought you guys might appreciate this!! I received this today in email!! It really says alot....if you really stop and think about it!! Thanks my friend!!!

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[Guest]

I loved it Punk, Thanks for sharing

[Spring]

Punk....Now those are the truth. I was trying to pick a favorite...but I just enjoyed to many. Hope you and everyone else is having a good day.

[red1030]

Punk....That was really good....thank you...I have to share this one with my husband..lol

[Still in Limbo]

Thanks punk, that was very enlightening!!

[tpm]

Thanks Punk
Pasted it into an e-mail and sent it out to family and friends

[Deb]

I copied it and sent it in an email to family/friends too.  Thanks for sharing Punk!

Debbie  

[Dallas307]

water vs. wine..... you choose


In a number of carefully controlled clinical trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli (E. coli) bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of Poop.

However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, beer or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember:

Water = Poop
Wine = Health

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of excrement.

There's no need to thank me for this valuable information; I'm doing it as a public service.

[Dallas307]

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:        
        Some people are like Slinkies:      
        
        They're not really good for anything,        
        
        But they bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

[Still in Limbo]

Dallas, that's just wrong but funny as Hell!! (LOL)