disabled body, disabled life; where to turn, so many questions

[bodybuilder1958]

I understand your desire to want to work and the frustration of a body that won't cooperate either thru pain or limitations.

Baby steps, time to slow down, re-evaluate the situation, make a list of what needs to be done. First thing is getting into like 1171 said, a counselor to see what type of work you are capable of doing. Find a free clinic that offers counseling for your psyque, to help you deal with the pain and anger.
When I was injured I went thru alot of anger and it took me a long, long time to get over it. Unfortunately we all go thru it but it's harder if you're doing it alone.

Ask your lawyer about applying for SSDI, not something most people want to hear when they're young like you are. But it's something to consider, and if it's approved it's doesn't mean that you're stuck on SSDI forever. There are programs thru vocational rehab to help you find a job or even re-train you to do something else. VR is paying for my oldest son to go to college.

Sorry we had to meet this way, welcome to the forum. You'll find alot of positive answers here.

Bodybuilder1958