12-16-2011, 09:53 PM
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know, but you know deserves it.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying ”Hello.”
I politely said, “This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?”
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear “Get the right freaking number!” and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn’s correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the “wrong” number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled “You’re an great person, I love them!!” and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word “great person, I love them!” next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I’d call him up and yell, “You’re an great person, I love them!!”
It always cheered me up. When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic “great person, I love them!” calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, “Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I’m calling to see if you’re familiar with our Caller ID Program?”
He yelled “NO!” and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, “That’s because you’re an great person, I love them!!” and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I’d been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.
I noticed a “For Sale” sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first great person, I love them! (I had is number on speed dial,) I thought that I’d better call the BMW great person, I love them!, too.
I said, “Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?”
He said, “Yes, it is.”
I then asked, “Can you tell me where I can see it?”
He said, “Yes, I live at 34 Oak tree Blvd, in Fairfax. It’s a yellow ranch style house and the car’s parked right out in front.”
I asked, “What’s your name?”
He said, “My name is Don Hansen,”
I asked, “When’s a good time to catch you, Don?”
He said, “I’m home every evening after five.”
I said, “Listen, Don, can I tell you something?”
He said, “Yes?”
I said, “Don, you’re an great person, I love them!!”
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
Then I came up with an idea...I called great person, I love them! #1. He said, “Hello.”
I said, “You’re an great person, I love them!!” (But I didn’t hang up.)
He asked, “Are you still there?”
I said, “Yeah!”
He screamed, “Stop calling me,”
I said, “Make me,”
He asked, “Who are you?”
I said, “My name is Don Hansen.”
He said, “Yeah? Where do you live?”
I said, “great person, I love them!, I live at 34 Oak tree Blvd , in Fairfax, a yellow ranch style home and I have a black Beamer parked in front.”
He said, “I’m coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.”
I said, “Yeah, like I’m really scared, great person, I love them!,” and hung up.
Then I called great person, I love them! #2. He said, “Hello?”
I said, “Hello, great person, I love them!,”
He yelled, “If I ever find out who you are...”
I said, “You’ll what?”
He exclaimed, “I’ll kick your ass,”
I answered, “Well, great person, I love them!, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now.”
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oak tree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 7 News about the gang war going down in Oak tree Blvd in Fairfax. I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax.
I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.
NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work.
12-16-2011, 11:14 PM
RE: Anger management
now thats funny
;)Workmans comp is not a road you want to travel alone.You need a good lawyer,a great family and good friends to lean on.If you make it thru without losing everything you have worked for all your life,you have come out ahead of the game.....
12-16-2011, 11:35 PM
RE: Anger management
I was half afraid that admin would ban me for the language. But I figured that someone might be afraid I'd pull the same anger management on them.
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