I am not very nice

[jayne]

And right now I dont like me......But ...yesterday I heard from another old customer that my former best friend and co worker has stomach cancer and my first thought! it couldnt have happened to a more deserving person...isnt that awful! in my defence this is the woman who witnessed my accident insisted I go to ER and then told the IC it didnt happen she is one of the reasons it took so long to get treatment and the injuries were made worse by the long wait time to get treatment and no TTD.....I know my response was wrong but the idea she now has to go thru some pain makes me feel justified.....then the nightmares all nite long and all I wanna do is go hug her.......let her know I am here for the long haul for her but I just cant. I still hold her responsiable for the extra pain the loss of my job and the added injuries and permanant damages caused by the wait for medical help from her lies.....she sure didnt get to enjoy my job long....pray for me to be able forgive her and for her to get well....I have such awful anger still for her and the last time I spoke to her I told her anyone that is that ugly and hateful to another human will get their payback in spades......but I damn sure didnt want this for her.please pray for us both at the 9 oclocks tonight...her name is maggie

[Still in Limbo]

Jayne, your anger came out first, and then you realized the persons situation and had Empathy for Her. That doesn't make you a Bad Person, that makes you Human. When we hear Bad News like that, it touches many Emotions, and you sorted yours out and put them in the correct order, and that makes you the Great Person you are. I will Pray for Both of you tonight at 9:00, but Please don't beat yourself up over natural Human Emotions! Take Care my Friend!

[Bad Boy Bad Boy]

Well Jayne, you know you can't have peace till you let the anger go. Just like I had too when the co-worker played their prank on me. My Doctor told me I wasn't healing because of my anger. I let it go, and I started to heal. We will pray for you and her.

Jayne another co-worker made fun of another having cancer, guess what happened to him, he got cancer afterwards. There is the old saying, what comes around goes around.

Jayne in the good book, it does also state; An eye for an eye....

[capricorn]

Jayne....I totally agree with BB and Limbo. You're a normal human being with emotions that have been pent up for God knows how long. We have all reacted as you did and I know in my case I probably will again with some people. You caught it. Let it go. you're a wonderful person who has been hurt and lashed back. Not a biggie. you are always in my prayers. Does your trash can have the brick in it? Maybe it's time to throw some glass.

Hugs,
CAP

[Spring]

Jayne...You have just been put in a really hard place. Sure when you heard the news...you only responsed as you have felt for a very LONG time. Having our best friend treat you as she did when you were injuried.....LIE and turn her back on you was so hurtful....not just that she wittness our injury....but wasn't there as your friend when you needed her the most. Was the worst...not to call you and reach out to you....as a friend should. Never said she was sorry for doing the nasty thing that the company had asked her to do...just so she could save her job. That hurt you deeply...and rightfully so.

Jayne...please just turn to God at this time...ask him to help you be the better person. I know in the short time I have come to know you...you can be the one that can sound like you are ruff at tough...but you have reached out and touched so many lives...such as those three little ones you are raising in your home...all the lives you have touched with your poems...what you have done by serving for your country.....Ask god to please give you the strength to forgive your friend for the aweful wrongs she put you and your family through. But I am sure she also has a family that is suffering or will be. I only say this if she really was a close and dear true friend at one time. I have lost a friend to brain cancer.....the family needed once she was gone. Maybe just a little card to say...I know you are sick...and you are in my prayers. Jayne I will have you in the prayers and this family. This has to be so hard for you. Please know we are all here for you my friend....and you have a big family here.

[tweety00]

Jayne I totally understand how you feel .
Everyone has voiced the same opinions that I somewhat have , We and myself need to let the anger go ..

sorry but your post really hit home with me big time ..
some how we will forgive and move on like bad boy and everyone has said We need to look at how life has been given to us and make it the best that we can
Gone for a bit .

[ksgirl]

Jayne, I also think your response was normal. When someone hurts you , you do feel it's justice when they get "what's coming to them". I will pray for you both, but I think you are half way there to forgiving her as a person, even if you can't forgive what she did.

[Deb]

Jayne this is exactly what makes you the special person you are - your heart of gold. I think I would have reacted the very same way that you did. But, I also know that in the end I would never wish cancer on my worst enemy so eventually I would have to have empathy for that coworker no matter how bad she had treated me. Hang in there for you are a very special lady and I know you will always do what is right in your heart.

Deb

[jayne]

thank each and everyone of you.....

[monster]

Jayne, I agree with everything that was said above, we are all only human and react just as any other humans would. My best friend and I didn't speak for 10 years. When I finally let my anger go it was like we had never been apart. I know you have been deeply hurt both physically and mentally, but please try and let the anger go. You may never be friends again but it's time to start healing as everyone has said. I will pray for you both tonight and I know that with your faith in God and everyone's prayers you will get through this. Take care of Jayne right now and know that we all love you and want only good things for you