Prayers for all,

[Cycler]

What , you so old you don't remember 5th grade ?

inpainokla Wrote:i guess i dont underzstand ppl coming on here and telling everyone there leaving i think if i were fed up enough with something i would just leave and prolly not say anything about it..and i do agree with BBBB drama from other forums need to stay there!..we surely dont need it

[admin]

inpainokla Wrote:i guess i dont underzstand ppl coming on here and telling everyone there leaving i think if i were fed up enough with something i would just leave and prolly not say anything about it..and i do agree with BBBB drama from other forums need to stay there!..we surely dont need it

InPain, historically the people who announce they are leaving never actually do. That has changed recently with my help.

This forum, like all forums, gains and loses members on a regular basis. Usually people are here until their problem or issue is answered or resolved, and then quietly move on. Some of those stay longer to help and develop friendships. But even many of those people over time quietly move on, as needs and desires change with their lives.

The announced departure is usually a cry of frustration, but can also be for attention or help, occasionally associated with the incorrect impression that their importance is greater than it actually is. (SNAP! ZZZZING!)

[inpainokla]

i guess i just dont understand what kind of attention there seeking...are they looking for negative attention bc thats usuallly what they get..or maybe looking for someone to beg them to stay who knows

[Bad Boy Bad Boy]

Inpainokla, if that was the case, the answer to your question then, is simply jump right on in and ask them. That will give you your answer then.

[red1030]

inpainokla... I believe as has been said, that announcing that you are leaving on the forum.. is mostly related to frustration, lack of coping for the issues at hand, a fast emotional decisions that when a person realizes that this means forever or its exact meaning that they realize that they made a mistake. It can be a cry for help in terms of asking am I useful here or do I make a difference or just something to assure the person stating that they are leaving that there are people out there who care if their presence is on the forum or not. I believe it could also be related to as admin said, believing that you are more important than you are. (This is true in all walks of life if we are not careful) All people have various degrees of needs ranging from wanting to feel needed or just being able to give to others quietly. I will be honest and say that I did do it once. My intention was to leave which was due to some disagreements and I emotionally decided that I didn't need the stress in my life. I announced on the forum because I didn't want to just disappear ... however, there could have been more. I could have been seeking attention, I am not sure of this. I didn't think of it in those terms at the time. I was more emotional than thinking ... however, I have thought about leaving a few times since then also, but have never put in on the forum that I can recall.. many reasons, many situations, many changes that create these moments of desperation that would create this type of response. For me it is understandable because when a person feels they have lost control or have no power to make a change over a situation emotionals set in, and people just want to get away from it and forget about it.

In spite of all that I said above about understanding, I also agree with Admin that it should stop and that if someone wants to leave they should leave. If they want to tell friends goodbye or leave a form of contact then do it through pm or phone or however else that they usually keep contact with these few chosen people. I have been doing some reading about internet relationships and it is very interesting. They are not the same as your day to day relationships or can they be treated in the same way at least not in a quick manner. Red

[kate]

chrischris Wrote:Kate, SURF's up! LOL!

[jayne]

now thats just plain scary.....Kate you need a boob job

[kate]

Oops!

[Cycler]

I doubt that. It has always seemed to me a petulant, pouty action.


[quote=red1030]
inpainokla... I believe as has been said, that announcing that you are leaving on the forum.. is mostly related to frustration, lack of coping for the issues at hand, a fast emotional decisions that when a person realizes that this means forever or its exact meaning that they realize that they made a mistake. It can be a cry for help in terms of asking am I useful here or do I make a diffe....

[jayne]

WTG Kate......Cycler are you this hard to get along with in real life?Humans do strange things we have feelings,and unlike robots what we read,see and hear are incorparated into our everyday life......if someone reads something that hurts their feelings on Facebook by someone who is NLH or here it is hard to seperate the two...I consider the source and go on.....people like Sweet whos heart is so big and so full of God and good cant seperate the nasty on facebook and here when it is from the same people...some people can be one person here another on facebook another on pogo and still another at home......Sweet is sweet here and everywhere else.... a more gentle and loving person than you can ever imagine......Hurting sweet is akin to kicking a kitten so bloody wrong and unnecessary......it really brings home the "some people are just mean" saying and dont care who they hurt