I have a head full of thoughts...

[bronco54501]

Wow where to begin.....back in 2007 I was in a mva, which almost took my life. A year and a few months of pt I was able to try work again. Many painfull moments but tried my hardest and have coped up to a week ago.. I have had injections 1 right after another just recently had an rfa with no help to my pain. Last mon I found my self with no relief even with meds and ended up seeing my dr.. He pulled me from work untill he ran some blood work and did a mri and went through the test today.. My mri still shows buldging disks, but not any worse then a year ago. My blood work came back and all tests showed elavation to all test. He pulled me out of work again for another 30 days, with to continue with pt and see my infection disease dr in Marshfield. And to see a spine surgeon for a consult.. I have been on doxicylin sice 2007, dont think it is the mrsa comming back but have to have some kinds of test that our hospitol cant do, to rule out infection....

Yesterday had a check up with pain clinic, my low back problems were normaly low left and were noted to be l4-l5 to l5-s1. They decided to do l3-l4 and I asked why? With them doing this with no documentation to support why they went higher. All they said to my request was thier intentions was to do all three and started up there and said I was having to much difficulty having the procedure so they stopped there. I was very pissed to have found out they went that high and havr been waiting for relief.. But they did say they would continue and finnish the procedure... I said in a pigs eye and that no one was going back in there any time soon....

While discussing this with my dr today and he was stunned of thier statement, he pulled out the medical notes that were faxed to him from pm.. He read them to me and my ncm and there was no evidence in the notes and infact they said this ...paitent handled procedure excelent and procedure was a success... Although my dr says they screwed up but this would not be causing any new symtoms.... Thats great, and anyone can tell you that procedure is a s.o.b very painfull and to add to that emotionaly I am very depressed over this because they predicted at least a 50% pain decreese... I am have tempted to try to sue them for malpractice, I will be bringing this up to my lawyer on Mon.

I know....I know this is long but almost done...

So today I bring in my dr's excuse and give it to my boss... I have become close friends but I could tell she was troubled and was mad all in the same breath.. So being my self...I came right out and asked her what will become of my job being second time being pulled from work.. She answered..."honestly.. I dont know what they will do," I said by law you have to give me 12 weeks of medical leave and she added " I know and since you were injured here at our company back in 2007 thier is loop holes and they will try to protect them selfs from a lawsuite." When I was injured, I asked my former boss if I could skip a delivery for that stretch (17 miles) was to dangerous to travel durring a snow storm... I was told if I dont I would be fired.... Well I did and I was in my mva 3 miles from that delivery... He was only there 6 months after and he was replaced.... Now I dont know if there is a slight chance the Mother company in Milwaukee thinks this. But my boss said today if they were to get rid of me they would offer me a buy out...???????? Now what that means I have no clue.........

Just what do you's make out of this big confused head throbbin back aching mess I'm in...????? My nerves are shot...

[jayne]

well Bubba you have to decide if you want to continue in the same vein or if you want to retire and try to get some quialty of life back.....we have a good life now that we have got thru the depression of being retired before we wanted and have built a life of if we feel like it today we will if not we wont...Honey is doing things he always wanted to do but didnt have the time to do before as far as hobbies...and now so am I we have found our life is as full as we want it to be now that we are done with WC and both are on SSDI.....talk with your wife the pain may cause you to not pay attention as well as you should and may cause another accident....It just may be time to retire

[AQA]

My only advice is that you need to seperate the issues. Medical is medical and work is work. If you try and focus on both of them at the same time, It can drive you crazy.

[bronco54501]

From day one, I wished I would of took my primary dr's advice and get ssdi.. But pig headed and stubborn I had it set in my mind to prove many wrong.. Well it was a goal of mine and maybe just a dream and I guess all I can say is I gave it my all.. After many days of my parents and my wife saying, come on now this is it and several pm's I have made my decision... I have parked my truck today, and with all the meds trying to calm my pain I realize I cant take the chance of killing some one or my self. Maybe once they can figure this new eppisode out I might be able to at least drive... With all the drama going on Mon Im going to see my lawyer and tell him the new scoop and what my plans are... Even he will probably say about time...lol I even tried to prove him wrong by working...... According to my adjuster the checks are starting and even if things go bad we still have my wifes income and apart time job she has done for years... And even if I dont get approved right away, we will survive done ot before and we will do it again.....

[AQA]

Well I see your last post answered my last PM. If you have any questions about applying for SSDI. Just ask. You know there are many will to help.

[Wink]

You're going to be alright, bronco. Life seems more than difficult at times, but there is light at the end of that tunnel; there was a part of my life when no one could convince me that there was. But through reflecting on all that had been and all that needed to be, showed me the way. Genuine faith and perseverance in myself and all that was connected to me was the key. The same key is there for you, too. Just reach for it with all of your heart.

[jayne]

and let us help we have been there........

[bronco54501]

Thanks gang,
Still dont have a reason for the new pain, with taking all my meds I have felt very tired and have not been at my computer much.. This past weekend was the crandon off road races and have never missed it except when I was first inured.. I attempted it sat and did not even make it to the gates. My son and friend went and I went back home.. Sunday I tried again and made to where we sit, brought a banket and my chair and sat there all day. It was the first day of enjoyment since my new injury, I was in a great mood. Thank god the wife and I baught some raffle tickets, I won the grand prize $$$$ 2,500...Yippy Skippy... That was awsome but spent it allready, made 2 truck payments and a house payment... Now were a month ahead on both and did it as a precaution just in case I dont recieve ttd payments..
Emotionaly I have been a bit depressed and to add to that my relationship with my wife is heading out the door..I have been begining to think she is bi-polar. Life will go on with or without her if she so chooses....I have the love from my son and thats all that counts to me.


Anywhoo........

I see my lawyer tomorow to discuss the current events and me retiring and my employer hinting to buy me out.