Getting Bittersweet News is so Hard to Deal With!!

[Still in Limbo]

I am Posting this to Vent a bit I Guess, but Mainly to try and Help a New Member that May have to Deal with a Situation such as I Had Today. I have been Fighting this Case of Mine through 15 and going on 16 Hearings Now, Over 5 Years, and I take enough Meds. a Day to Drop an Elephant in Their Tracks just so I can Walk, and not be Stuck in a Wheel Chair. I have Won 15 1/2 out of 16 Petitions put Before the w/c Judges, and also 2 Appeals, but this System still becomes Stalled with the Ins. Co. Attorney Using any Delay Tactic They can Think of so that I May give Up or Die, and They won't have to Pay. I had a Voc. Rehab. Person Come to My Home a Few Weeks ago, a Nice Guy but with a Job to do, and My Attorney was Here to Make Sure I didn't Over Speak and give too Much Information, and to Keep My Emotions in Check! Prior to this Appt. this Co. in Their Infinite Wisdom Sent Me Job Interview Letters, for Surveillance Positions, They wanted Me to Work Checking on Other w/c Injured Workers, and They were the Very Same Co. that The Defense is Using to Watch Me!! Do You Smell a Set-Up Here?? So We Responded that I will go to No Interviews until I Discuss My Situations and the Job Offers with My PM Dr., who by the Way Was and Is the Credible Dr. in This Case, and My Attorney would Contact Them after My Appt. That's what I did Today, and Why I am Typing This. My Dr. has been Very Good to Me and always Told Me the Truth no Matter How Bad, when We Started Together I asked that Nothing be Held Back, and I want any Info. Needed given to Me Straight and to the Point, and that's the Way We Deal with Each Other and have for going on 4 Years Now! She told Me in No Uncertain Terms that I am not even Permitted to Attend an Interview, I'll Never Work Again, My Meds. alone wouldn't allow Me to Work not to Mention My Injury, which is Deteriorating!! This is Great News in My Case, it makes Me More Untouchable to the Defense Counsel so Determined to Try and Take away My Benefits, but also Hearing those Words at the Age of 47 is Just Heart Breaking to Hear, kind of Like a Double Edged Sword, and Bittersweet!! So if You ever Find Yourself in a Situation Like This, it's O.K. to Feel Sad and a bit Lost, I am a Very Strong Willed Person and it has kept Me Up All Night, but don't let it get You too Far Down, There is too Much Living to do Yet, so I'm going to do My Best to try and get a couple Hours Sleep and when I awake, get back on that Horse and Make the Best Out of the Day the Good Lord is going to Give Me when I Open My Eyes!! Thanks for Letting Me Vent, and I Hope this Helps Some One Some Day!!

[backache]

Still, I pray that you will soon win your case and all of these terrible people that you have to deal with will leave you alone. Take care my friend and vent whenever you want.

[capricorn]

Limbo...I have no words....so I will continue to pray ..... that the good Lord sees fit to end this for you. You are a strong man and it's in your heart to continue to be for yourself, your family and us. What a wonderful person you are and I am glad to have met you.

[Bummer Knees]

Still In Limbo when I think of you I think of a person of outstanding strength that few possess.

I understand the desire to get your life back, work once again, and do things you once did.

Although my injuries do not compare to yours; the doctors tell me I will not work again. Yet there is a part of me that won't give up.

I have been looking at online classes I would like to enroll in, and I would like to return to work working with the families & children I once worked with.

I do hope this makes sense as I am one of little sleep this morning.

[Lilly]

Bittersweet is an understatement.

Like cap, I have no words, so I too, will continue to pray for you.
All I can say, is stick it to em Limbo...make them pay every penny you have coming, and then some!

Lilly

[red1030]

Still you have a way of describing my emotions to a "t." I am not sure why except that we both retired at a young age, and we both face contiual disease progression. I have a new counselor here in Roseburg and my women's health doctor read my counselors last entry about me. Consequently I picked up a copy at medical records that same day. In this entry she said, "Carol's education and knowledge base restricts therapy. She does admit that it is difficult to maintain a sense of hope in her life since loosing her carreer but continues to deny that coping is difficult." She said alot more but that part stresses my point, I have a very difficult time owning my disease and the possible progression that awaits me, so it is easier to just ignore it. Still it is easier for you to ignore most days also so that when a doctor tells you what you already know in your heart, it hits like a bomb again...at least that is how it is for me. My doctor told me it is time, to own MS, act like I have MS, and stop ignoring that my life as I knew it will never rediscover itself. It is bitter sweet for you, because of your case, and I am happy for that, for me, it is just what it is. I wake up and just say thank you lord for another wonderful day and for allowing me to breath and enjoy my life for as long as I can. I know you have a very positive life also and am so very happy for you in those terms. The strength lies in those around us such as in this forum, our families, and our friends. Good luck buddy. Red

[bronco54501]

They wanted Me to Work Checking on Other w/c Injured Workers, and They were the Very Same Co. that The Defense is Using to Watch Me!! Do You Smell a Set-Up Here...

They have a lot of balls, to try this on you. The time they have wasted on stalling and spying, I hope who ever is pushing that NO/STALL button looses every thing in his life.. I bet he has no concience, probably sleeps well......

Still, I dont know you personaly but our words have crossed a few times before, and I believe you are one hell of a man, strong minded, and knows what you want.... I pray this eases and they settle to your terms, even though there is no $ value worth what you have been through, it's all about you and your familys future....

God Bless you still............

[Tuffy]

Still, I am another that dosen't know what to say or have the right words, Other than that was a slap in the face, wanting you to spy on other injured workers after all they have done to you. They I am afraid would have left my home in a flash.
You have the strength of 10 men when it comes to life. and I admire you for all that you have been through and still have to go through.
Hang in there and continue the fight,

[backache]

Bronco wrote : Still, I dont know you personaly but our words have crossed a few times before, and I believe you are one hell of a man, strong minded, and knows what you want.... I pray this eases and they settle to your terms, even though there is no $ value worth what you have been through, it's all about you and your familys future....

Bronco I do know him and you are absolutely correct about him. He has such great strength , if it would have been me in his situation I would have folded from the pain and disappointment way back. Still is not only strong for himself and his family he also has given me great strength and I truly feel privaledged that he is my friend.

[Still in Limbo]

Thank You All so Much, You have Allowed Me to get This Out to People that Understand, and Thank You All for the Kind Words!! My Attorney and My Dr., Bless Their Souls are on Top of this for Me, it's been a While since a lot of You have seen Me, and it's Starting to Show, I can't even look into the Mirror and See those Sunken Eyes, Discolored and Worn Face, and the Gray Everywhere, I have no Idea who that Man is, but Alas I know it's Me. I'm Home alone and I am going to Set and Have a Good Cry, not a Feel Sorry for Myself Cry, a Cry brought to Me from the Words My Friends have Written, so Thank You so Much for allowing this Cry, and when it Over it's Time to Pull Up My Boot Straps and get Back into the Game, and Smack These Basta**s around a Bit More!! I just know what I'm Capable of in My Life, and this Broken Body won;t allow it, so I have to Win for Us All, My Family and All of You are in this Battle of Mine also, when ANY Of US WIN ALL of US WIN and Hope is Restored for Us!! You'll Never know what the Words You have All Written has Meant to Me, and I Thank You All from the Bottom of My Heart!!