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25 liberal/Democrat jokes to start your day
#1
Funny Liberal/Democrat Jokes To Start Your Day

1. Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.

2. Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?
A: You don’t. They’re born that way.

3. Q: Why is it good to have a Democrat passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

4. Q: What’s the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted.

5. A Democrat died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
“Ten dollars?” she said. “It only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat? Here’s a hundred – go bury 10 of them!”

6. Q: How do you keep a Democrat busy?
A: Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.

7. Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.

8. Q: What do you call a Democrat with an IQ of 130?
A: A foursome

9. Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.

10. Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
A: A whine cellar.

11. Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Democrats.

12. Q: What is foreplay for a Democrat?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.

13. Q: What is the Democrat doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

14. Q: Why did the Liberal have blisters on his lips?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.

15. Q: Why do Liberals work seven days a week?
A: So you don’t have to retrain them on Monday.

16. A Democrat found a magic genie’s lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, “I will grant you one wish.” He said, “I wish I were smarter”. So the genie made him a Republican.

17. Q: What the difference between a Democrat and the rear end of a horse?
A: I don’t know either.

18. Q: How is a Liberal different from a sewer rat?
A: Some people actually like sewer rats.

19. Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark.

20. Q: Why do so many Liberals live in L.A.?
A: It’s the only city that is easy enough for them to spell.

21. Q: What’s five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A Democrat parade.

22. Q: What is it called when a Liberal blows in another Liberal’s ear?
A: Data transfer.

23. Q: Why don’t they let Liberals swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can’t get the smell out of the tuna.

24. Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a Democrat.

25. Q: What’s the difference between a Liberal and a sack of manure?
A: The sack.
 
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#2
Hilarious; I will always be a Democrat; The Democrats are for the middle class; The Republicans are not; just one of the many reasons I am a Democrat.
 
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#3
I dont know Freebird I am not even middle class anymore the democrats have seen to that.But I do believe in working for what I believe in and working for what I want.I am tired of trying to stretch my rice and beans to feed not only my family but the 3 familys down the street who refuse to work for minimum wage cuz they are to "good" to work for less that "$20.00" an hour union wages so they sit on their butt and collect unemployment for 2 years....well his unemployment is about up the unions have run this great country into a place where we cant compete with the globel marketplace so we have 3 choices we ban inports,we put a import tax on them making them cost as much as the things made in america or the unions have got to go and workers have to accept lower wages to make american made products competitive.....none of which anyone is willing to do so the economy tanked....game over we lost.....we need a president with steel balls that is willing to stand up and tell the people of the united states you are going to have to eat beans and rice and what you can grow in a garden till we can get this budget back in the black.He/She is going to cut benifits to non citizins to -0- period
do away with foodstamps and go back to commodadees(sp) yes no more buying chips and soda pop with food stamp dollars ahhh man but yes to cans of fruit and veggies a weekly voucher to the nearest grocery that honors it and you get real food to help your children to grow strong and healthy in mind and body.....no soda pop or chips at the local 7-11.and if you want junk food you will have to get a job(heaven forbid)and buy it your self...do you think we will ever have a president with the backbone to really stand up for the majority of the United States and say come on people get your 300 lb fanny off the couch and get a job?Please as Americans are spoiled we come into this world thinking we are owed a handout when the simple truth is we come into this world naked with nothing and we will leave this world with nothing more than a set of clothes and a heavy layer of makeup....
........I love cats, I just cant eat a whole one by myself......







 
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#4
What about that Sherrif from Arizona, the one with the tent city for inmates. I vote for him for president.
 
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#5
yes he would be a good en
........I love cats, I just cant eat a whole one by myself......







 
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#6
I believe that sheriff could knock out a lot of the nonsense in this country... Jayne, they have made it so its easy to buy soda candy chips with food stamps (credit card) , what happened to the imbaresment of having to pay with the food stamp dollars... It let everone know what is paying for the groc.... I dont know if junk food was allowed back in the day but it sure would make people buy the necesaties.....

I'm injured, cant work, and I still have to pay almost $200 monthly to have ins through the state.. We were aproved for food share, its such a small amount we can only buy meats and veggies, fruit is very expensive here... But then we have neighbors that has made it a way of life handed down from thier parents.. Never worked, healthy and they decide to sit back and enjoy without ever working for it.. They have babies like bunnies, each one gives them more food , many get thier utilities paid for, complete free medical.....

And here I sit, loosing my house, no money, cant afford to run to town and waste gas.. And these welfare bums drive around without a care in the world.......
 
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#7
Bronco,I know I watch old people counting their pennies getting gro and then people buy junk food with food stamps it just isnt fair.I know kids want cookies and soda and I am not saying dont buy it for them.but do it at the grocery store where its cheaper not at the 7-11 where its 4 times the price.
........I love cats, I just cant eat a whole one by myself......







 
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#8
(05-23-2012, 12:29 AM)jayne Wrote: I dont know Freebird I am not even middle class anymore the democrats have seen to that.But I do believe in working for what I believe in and working for what I want.I am tired of trying to stretch my rice and beans to feed not only my family but the 3 familys down the street who refuse to work for minimum wage cuz they are to "good" to work for less that "$20.00" an hour union wages so they sit on their butt and collect unemployment for 2 years....well his unemployment is about up the unions have run this great country into a place where we cant compete with the globel marketplace so we have 3 choices we ban inports,we put a import tax on them making them cost as much as the things made in america or the unions have got to go and workers have to accept lower wages to make american made products competitive.....none of which anyone is willing to do so the economy tanked....game over we lost.....we need a president with steel balls that is willing to stand up and tell the people of the united states you are going to have to eat beans and rice and what you can grow in a garden till we can get this budget back in the black.He/She is going to cut benifits to non citizins to -0- period
do away with foodstamps and go back to commodadees(sp) yes no more buying chips and soda pop with food stamp dollars ahhh man but yes to cans of fruit and veggies a weekly voucher to the nearest grocery that honors it and you get real food to help your children to grow strong and healthy in mind and body.....no soda pop or chips at the local 7-11.and if you want junk food you will have to get a job(heaven forbid)and buy it your self...do you think we will ever have a president with the backbone to really stand up for the majority of the United States and say come on people get your 300 lb fanny off the couch and get a job?Please as Americans are spoiled we come into this world thinking we are owed a handout when the simple truth is we come into this world naked with nothing and we will leave this world with nothing more than a set of clothes and a heavy layer of makeup....

LUCKY agrees that these free loaders needs to get off there behinds and get a JOB.

My Family is uhm "Middle Class" and we are not ashamed of it. My Union Wages in the past allow me to draw top money from SSDI which I am proud of. My wife is salary and draws a 'GOOD" salary because of Union Wages which set the precedent for good salaries for non union salary workers.

George handed Barak a freaking nightmare. Barak has done ZERO himself and I will not vote for him. I will vote for the Liberal moderate Republican Romney.





 
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#9
then we are in agreement....We need a person in the whitehouse that can come up with a budget and stick to it be they Dem or Rep
........I love cats, I just cant eat a whole one by myself......







 
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#10
(05-21-2012, 05:44 PM)lucky Wrote: Hilarious; I will always be a Democrat; The Democrats are for the middle class; The Republicans are not; just one of the many reasons I am a Democrat.

ew gross
 
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