Who are we....?????? Do we know??? - Printable Version
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Who are we....?????? Do we know??? - red1030 - 11-09-2007 07:27 PM
Have you ever wondered about the person that you converse with everyday through the screen? For instance, what does the person look like, talk like, sound like, or maybe simply what their history in life is? I believe that most of us know that a person is more than mere words on a screen and yet we read and accept these words everyday and most of us do not question it unless we are given a reason to do so. At least that is how I am. However do you ever ask yourself, who are these people, and why has such a friendship developed through a screen?
There is no doubt in my mind that each of us ask ourselves questions about the person we are talking to on the screen. The day that CRABBY or maybe it was tweedy put a picture of a computer with a hand holding a rose reaching out of the screen has really tore at my heart strings. It made me question more about my new world that I have become involved in. I am beginning to ask myself, how anyone on the screen can really know who the other person they are conversing with really is. Consequently, I have done a lot of thinking and research about computer friendships.
Throughout this entire process, the one thing that I have discovered is that people talking on line lose some of their inhibitions. They easily share, confide, trust, as they discuss issues that maybe they have never discussed with their neighbor or family member. Through research I have found that studies have identified that relationships that are fostered on line as a result of sharing of interest are often long lasting friendships in spite of proximity to each other. For example, my daughter married a man from Sweden that she met while she was alone in California finishing her masterÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s program. She and he began to be partners in Spades on line and then a relationship began to build for the next year from there. They are still together living in Oregon with a 5 year old daughter.
The history of our on line family is rather complex in many ways. We all come here because of a work injury which creates many challenges in our life. Suddenly we find ourselves in a life altering situation related to the loss of jobs, loss of health, loss of income, loss of homes, loss of families, loss of available healthcare, loss, loss, and more loss. And yet throughout all of this we have not lost our need to belong and to foster long lasting relationships.
So again I asked myself, why is it that I feel so close to the people on this forum and yet I have never met most of you. I believe it is because of the commonality of issues and concerns. I lost my job as a result of a disease process and most of you have lost your job as a result of an injury on the job. I canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t compare the two except to say that the overall result is the same. For instance, most people equate who they are with what they do such as a job or profession. When that is gone, I believe we are even more challenged to understand who we are.
Recently I wrote a thread about leaving for a week, stated that I had hurt someone, that I had some health issues to think about, and that I just needed to recharge or reflect on my life. I believe I compared it to getting an oil job or something like that. Have you ever really questioned who Red is? Why does she behave as she does, why does she write as she does, why does she do the BINGO games, why does she do the art work, or why does she do or react in any situation as she does? Why is she a Ã¢â‚¬Å“posting freakÃ¢â‚¬Â, in other words Ã¢â‚¬Å“who is Red?Ã¢â‚¬Â
So where is this going? Well for me it is going to a better understanding of what I want to accomplish in life and what I want to be remembered for in life. Recently someone asked me Ã¢â‚¬Å“what would others say about me once I have passed on? Would they have good things to say about me?Ã¢â‚¬Â My answer of course is Ã¢â‚¬Å“yes.Ã¢â‚¬Â However, that gave me pause for thought because how many times a day do I remember my grandparents and have I ever acknowledged even in my mind what they gave to me in terms of love, compassion, values, philosophies, and dreams.
If it is my values that breed behaviors and responses to life events, then how does this mesh with a person path in life that leads towards those dreams. I believe that it is a direct correlation of life and values, or in other words, it sets our path towards our dreams. So what are our values? For me, that is rather easy to decide, for it is several things related to caring Ã¢â‚¬Â¦ such as knowledge, learning, family, friends, elderly, honesty, work, commitments, caring, compassion, contentment, breathing, heart sounds, keeping commitments, loving, community, country, freedom of speech, agree to disagree, communication, listening, and so forth. If these are values how does this relate or commune with beliefs?
Beliefs are putting values into action. For instance, if you say that you value honesty and then you most likely have a belief about how to treat people, how to communicate, how to relate to everyone that you come in contact with. If you have a value of caring, then would it be difficult to walk past a cat that is dying on the side of the road unless your value of caring is limited to specific situations? The value caring would most likely cause a person to stop and lend a helping hand to even a cat dying on the side of the road. This being the case, is it not more likely that while it was the commonality of a work place injury that brought us together on this forum, it is the commonality of values and beliefÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s that keep us together?
So where does that lead us? If it is the commonality of values and beliefs that keeps us together, how does this create or result in situations of disgruntlement or anger such in our last episode. The unfortunate part is I truly believe that the unlovable deserves our love and care, and respect, but I also believe that if you want respect you must give respect. So now how do we get here? Right now on this board we have so many issues, that reach beyond the typical issues of pain, etc, we have a women who many have breast cancer, we have someone else who is hurting due to abuse, we have a women who may lose her home soon, we have a man who is facing a wheelchair daily at a very young age, we have issues on top of issues on top of issues. At times they are very overwhelming.
Then I wonder, is the issues and the lack of knowing what do to or how to help that leads us to this type of a warfare. From what I have seen happen in the last couple of days is a disgrace. We as a group do not value conflict unless it can be used as a weapon to learn. We donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t value hurting people or putting more stress in their lives that they already have to cope with. We donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t value hurting people with words and yet in the past couple of days, we have. We all have. None of us is innocent. Maybe we didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t start it or maybe we didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t say it, but we allowed it to happen. WE have a TOS, yes, and we should up hold it like the BIBLE. It is our common law and standard of how to conduct ourselves on this board. It determines our culture. It determines some of how we communicate. So how does this get so wrong sometimes. Right now the beat of my heart is out of rhythm and my brain is not functioning.. so I am going on a trip.
So who is Red, Spring, jayne, mel, Still in Limbo, Wink, Pooh, kentuckygal, rholmes, tuffy, CRABBY, monster, Bad Boy Bad Boy, 1171, Babe, backache, AQA, Vickinat, Bummer knees, ksgirl, undercovrAngel, Deb, snowbear, and so many moreÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ who are we, what do we want to be known for when we leave this world, and do our intentions really manifest themselves so others understand our intentions, what are our goals, dreams, and mostly what is the path we are choosing to follow toward our sunset or dreams which lies just beyond the rainbow and yet within reach if we would think with our brain and feel with our heart before we apply the finger to the keyboard. I love you allÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ God bless youÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ and remember there is never anything in life more important than that of a life... Red
RE: Who are we....?????? Do we know??? - tweety00 - 11-09-2007 07:51 PM
Its under the title Friends in the off topic area
Yes It says alot to everyone on this forum
RE: Who are we....?????? Do we know??? - ksgirl - 11-09-2007 07:55 PM
Red, you write everything so beautifully and straight from the heart. I agree that we don't "know" the people we talk to online, but I wonder if we really "know" the people we see in person every day. I am pretty much who you see any time I write. I am an imperfect person who can get pretty upset. I am a person who cares very much for the plight of others. Sometimes I am too lazy to do what is right and sometimes I wonder if I know what is right. I am cranky, determined, tired, happy, optimistic, pessimistic, crazy, goofy, fun loving, and mean. It just depends on the mood and situation. I try not to start things, but sometimes I can't help but to jump in or try to defend someone. I try to be supportive, but I know that sometimes I need to keep my fingers quiet.
I agree that we need to try to think before we type and we need to be respectful. It just seems that sometimes the things we may not like about ourselves jumps out and bites us. I am very willing to try to watch what I type, especially when I am not in a good mood to begin with.
Now I remember what else I was going to say. I try to take everyone here like I see myself, wonderful, but not perfect!
RE: Who are we....?????? Do we know??? - Babebahn - 11-09-2007 08:52 PM
Hi Red & KSgirl:
I agree with what you both said...All I can say about what you wrote is that we are all "GENUINE PEOPLE WHO TRULY CARE ABOUT OTHERS"...
RE: Who are we....?????? Do we know??? - sweet tooth - 11-09-2007 09:09 PM
red that was good and needed so much i would like everyone to know i love you all and treasure all our moments that we share on here
RE: Who are we....?????? Do we know??? - Pooh - 11-09-2007 09:56 PM
You have a way with words and say things so eloquently.
RE: Who are we....?????? Do we know??? - halftrak - 11-09-2007 10:04 PM
red, you must be one hell of LADY, you not only have talent with a paintbrush but a talent with words, you should try your hand at writing.I don't post very often but read these posts every day.I don't know you but would love to have a friend like you.Halftrak
RE: Who are we....?????? Do we know??? - collateraldamage5591 - 11-09-2007 10:12 PM
I am a newbie to this forum as you all have seen. I must admit it has been quite entertaining and enlightening. I agree that taking a self inventory and being totally honest with yourself is very difficult. It's funny how much smoke and mirrors you set up for yourself with no outside assistance at all. And how many dead ends you go down till you find what is right for you. If you cannot be honest with yourself there is no way you can be honest with anyone and if you can not love youself you can not love anyone either.
RE: Who are we....?????? Do we know??? - vickinat - 11-09-2007 11:43 PM
You always have just the right way to say something. I truly feel blessed to have found everyone here. I have had so much help and support, made some great friendships and felt as if I had someone I could discuss my issues with that wouldn't judge me. I too love you all, and consider you guys my forum family. I can't tell you how much it meant to me, to read the responses from when I had my accident, or from when I was able to meet Red and do a painting. Everyone here genuinly cares, even though we don't physically know each other, there is that special connection.
RE: Who are we....?????? Do we know??? - Kentuckygal - 11-10-2007 12:08 AM
Red I feel at home here i know im growing everyday and am thinkful to learn from this great group of people I try to live my life in helping others thats way i loved my job i truely believe you should be good to everyone for i have learned you never know what is on the inside of there heart or if it brokein just by looking at them I twant to be remember as someone that loved life and people
thank you red it has remained me of my goals