Injury, Dismay, Anger, Knowledge,Frustration and then Acceptance!! - Printable Version
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Injury, Dismay, Anger, Knowledge,Frustration and then Acceptance!! - Still in Limbo - 09-23-2007 02:43 PM
I Hope that all of You don't mind a bit of Rambling, but with everything going on in My Life right Now, I've had to make a number of Life Changing decisions lately, and I thought I would share these in Hopes that if ONE Person can Benefit from ONE Thing I have been through, this Damn injury that will effect Me Forever won't be for naught, and I can start My change into trying to think of this as a Positive, and not the Negative it has been for the Last Three Years. This will be a bit Long, and if You don't want to take the time to read this I understand, I just have to get this Out, and I don't want to Burden My Family, but maybe, just maybe, this can Help some of You! Thanks in advance for listening to My Thoughts, some of them could only be understood by the Injured, and I Hope this in some way Helps, I know it will Help Me to get this Out!!
All of Our Injuries happened in Different ways, at different Times in our Lives, and with Our Own set of Personal Problems being included with Our Injuries, Problems we may have had before We were Injured. But I think one thing for all of Us stayed pretty much the same, when We were injured, at first, all we wanted was to get ourselves Better and Back to Work, We didn't want the w/c System in Our Lives, We only wanted fair and expedient Medical Care, to Heal, and Return to what we were doing before the Injury. For probably a good number of People that is exactly what they received, and Thank God they went on with their Lives, and then there is this Group of Folks on this Site, many for the Most Part did NOT Receive the Care We needed, and in a Timely Fashion, and that's why we're here, to try and learn from each other and somehow find a way to get on with our Lives. I really don't think it matters too much what State We are all from, We all share a common link, w/c has NOT performed as they should have, whether the Employer or the i/c caused the Problems and set-backs, nonetheless, Here We set, some with Attorneys, some Without, trying to figure out WHY and HOW on God's Green Earth are We being treated the Way we are, not getting the Care We need, and Constantly having to Battle for everything from Tests, to receiving the Meds. we need, to seeing the Dr.'s We need to, and having the Surgical Procedures We Need to get Better! Constantly Fighting Paper work and sub-standard follow-up and Care, fearful of what the next Phone Call or Letter may tell us, and wondering if Our Checks are going to arrive on Time, if at all! This Section is what I Call the DISMAY Area of this Journey, just trying to Survive, all the while wondering Why We were picked out of ALL of the Injured Workers out there to be Treated the way we are, and what did We do to deserve such cold and sub-standard Care??
And then We find a Site as Great as this one is, and we start to develop Conversation with other Injured Workers from all walks of Life, in Different States and Levels of Injury and Care, different Ages, and We slowly come to see that We are not the only Ones out there being treated Poorly, it seems to be everywhere!! Through our Conversations and Learning experience on here, we come to find Out that the Entire W/C System is flawed, not just in Your State but in ALL of them, and we start to wonder, "How can this System treat an Injured Worker this Way?", all We did was go to Work to provide for Our Families, We weren't negligent in Our Duties, We were just Injured, and all We want to do is to be taken Care of in an expedient and fair fashion, given Time to Heal, and to Return to Work! And as We have come to find out, the system would rather spend Millions of Dollars trying to deny Care and Acknowledgment of Our Injuries, than to Treat Us, and this is about the Time the ANGER Phase kicks in, and We start to realize that we are not Human to the System, We are a Case Number and a File, a Liability to the i/c that needs to be dealt with and tossed aside if Possible, and We start to realize that if We want anything to happen for the Betterment of Ourselves and Our Families, We are going to Have to Protect Our Rights as an Injured Worker, and the only way to do that is by Learning a System not one of us even want to be dealing with, get involved Personally in the Process, Learn all We can to Protect Ourselves and get the Care We Deserve and Need! As You can Plainly see, the Anger Phase quite quickly turns into the KNOWLEDGE Stage.
And this is the Time some of Us Hire Attorneys to Help us along this Path, and Others try and take on the System on their Own, something that soon turns into an understanding that this system is not fair, and the only way to get through this is with Help, some try and find it Here, and others try and Hire Attorney's, and Hopefully they are not too far along in the system that Attorney's can't Help, maybe too much damage has been done, or the Attorney's don't want to get involved because they don't feel they can Win, or make the Money they think they should. This is a very touchy Time in an Injured Workers Life, a Time when this can all become too Overwhelming, and Depression can Creep in, causing even More Problems to an already Injured Worker that has been batted around like a Tennis Ball for a while now. As We go through this Knowledge Stage, and try to learn and understand, and wait for the Attorney's and Courts to Iron things out Our Injuries continue, and sometimes the Pain and injury gets Worse due to lack of Care, and We step into the Frustration Stage, a Place where We spend the Most of Our Time!
Most of Us are Here, in the Frustration Stage. We have Knowledge of the system by now, We know how things should be going but they're not, and the Frustration grows along with the Depression and Pain, and Life for the Injured Worker turns into Hell, a place no one wants to be, Let alone Live in Every Day!! Some quit and accept small Settlements just to get w/c to go away, and the i/c and the System Wins, and the Injured Worker comes out on the Bad end of the Deal, and then there is the Fighters, that no matter what the i/c or w/c system throws at them they are going to Fight, and not Stop until they Win, and Get what is Rightfully Theirs! There are a Lot of Fighters on this Forum, that's why I'm Writing this in Hope's that this Helps the Fighter, if even in a small Way, to find out where they Really stand in this Process, and How to Succeed, at least the Path I'm going to take to the End, and Now We get to the toughest Section of All ACCEPTANCE!!
I haven't been on Here much lately, because I have been taking a Good Hard look at where I stand, with the New Complications in my Health, not for the Better, Med. changes because the Pain is Severe, and wondering, "How Long Can I Continue to Battle??" And then it Hit Me, out of nowhere, I can't tell You when or what caused it, but I finally Realized the Only Way I Was going to be able to Continue the Fight and Win was to Really ACCEPT My Condition and deal with it, get past the "I'm Sorry for Myself" Stage, and realize my Injuries, Deal with them, and Continue on!! I'm 45 Years Old, I Worked Hard All of My Life and Played even Harder, and was injured at the Ages of 42. My Entire Life was Turned Upside Down, My Injury has left me Disabled, and things are Heading to the Path that soon I will be in a Wheelchair, so what do I do, Live in the Past Missing the Old Me, or Grab the World by the Ass and Learn the New Me?? I Have to Learn the New Me!!
I sat by Myself the other Day, and did something I thought I never would, I took My Old Life, the Good One before the injury, and reflected on the Good Times I Had, the things I did when I could, Thanked God for allowing Me to Have these Memories, and made them just that Memories!! It's Sad to Say, but that Old Person Has Passed On, and needs to go into the Memory Section of My Mind, and I have to Learn to Live in the Body I Have Now, and make it Work!! And I'm going to, it will take Time, but I've Accepted I will not Return to the Old Me, So He has to go away, there isn't room for both of them in my Mind, and I can't Beat these those with no designated father if I'm spending my Valuable Time grieving over the Old Me!! So here I set Today, crippled and in Pain, but that's only My Body not My Mind, and it's time to get Back in the Battle, to Get What's Rightfully Mine!!!
Again I'm Sorry this is soo long, and it's taken a while for me to type, but I feel with all of My Heart, if You can find Acceptance, couple it with Patience and Understanding, ANYONE can Beat this System, and Send them Away with their Tails Between Their Legs!! I'M SURE AS HELL GOING TO!!!
RE: Injury, Dismay, Anger, Knowledge,Frustration and then Acceptance!! - sweet tooth - 09-23-2007 02:59 PM
as the old saying goes THANKS I NEEDED THAT TODAY and you aint forgot about our race have ya ? hillbilly hugs if i win !!!!!!!! love dear friend sweets
RE: Injury, Dismay, Anger, Knowledge,Frustration and then Acceptance!! - CRABBY - 09-23-2007 02:59 PM
limbo, you said it all, better than anyone could have...it's honest, truthfull and sincere...I'm glad to hear you will fight....that's what all of us have to do....I feel you should email your letter to someone..I still feel that if we all do that, someone has to take notice....with so many of us, we could do it...just keep inudating them with emails...keep your positive attitue it helps everyone here...thank you for saying what I could not describe...in a letter
RE: Injury, Dismay, Anger, Knowledge,Frustration and then Acceptance!! - Bummer Knees - 09-23-2007 03:20 PM
Still In Limbo
The IW's on this forum learn so much from you.
That came from the heart.
Thank you for sharing.
RE: Injury, Dismay, Anger, Knowledge,Frustration and then Acceptance!! - jayne - 09-23-2007 03:39 PM
as usual my friend you said it all and for all
RE: Injury, Dismay, Anger, Knowledge,Frustration and then Acceptance!! - sparkey - 09-23-2007 04:00 PM
Nothing is ever to long for me to read when it comes to someone who needs someone to listen. I am so glad that you came to terms on how you are and what you have to accept the rest of your life maybe. The good lord only knows why he put us on this earth to live this way. He has a plan for us all. I have been very emotional myself these last few days. My grandmother of 98 yrs. old lays as i type this almost on her last breath. She was a wonderful woman. I pray each day the good lord takes her as she does not deserve to suffer like this. She has not ate or drank for 6 days now and just lays there waiting for her time to end.
What i see the most is my brother that has been suffering also. He has given 2 yrs of his life as he is a iw for almost 5 yrs now due to his back. He is only 43 yrs. old and sat in his house in pain day in and day out. Over the last two years he has spent every single day helping my grandmother in the nursing home. Keeping her company and learning about things when he was growing up about my father he really never got to know.
He did a terrible thing after my fathers death and stole the funeral money from my mother that she had in a box in the basement to support us 5 kids on her own after he passed on. He stayed with my grandmother each day and tried to make up for what he had done at such an early age , and was never able to accept what he did. It broke my heart last night to see him cry and say to her that he learned so much and thanked her for being alive for him. She has fought these last 2 yrs. because of him and i firmly believe she wanted to let him help to be forgiven from my father. He told her all the things he did wrong and wanted acceptance.
What i am trying to say is.........my brother is a disabled person now at such a young age. He finds time to not dwell on the fact he is disabled but yet help others who are worse off. The people at the nursing home absolutly love him. He stops and talks to all the residents ( not just my grandmother) and would give them the shirt off his back if he could. He has promised my grandmother now that he is going to volunteer at the nursing home to help others like her when she passes on. That is his promise to her.
Live each day as the good lord has you do and enjoy those around you. It is not how you are, even if you are wheelchair bound, but being able to live and see your family grow and being there for them whenever they may need you, or your kind words. I enjoy life, and i am the same age as you. I lost my father when he was 44 to MS. I hope that i can live as long as my grandmother and get to be 98 and live to the end like her, with her mind. Only thing she lost was the ability to walk. She suffered with her knees but would always smile whenever she saw someone come to visit and hide the pain.
Please accept your disability like you said and just enjoy this wonderful world we were all put in for a reason. God only knows!!!
RE: Injury, Dismay, Anger, Knowledge,Frustration and then Acceptance!! - MJC - 09-23-2007 04:35 PM
I have read your post thoroughly. I know this came from your heart and you had to do alot of thinking about all this. I understand where you are coming from. All the stages you mention, I have been there. I came to realize all of these stages when I was so deep in depression that I had to start seeing a pysch doctor. This doctor helped to save my life and still does. It will be 4 years next month I have been seeing him. Throughout our sessions I experienced every stage you mentioned and I am now at the phase of acceptance. A person really needs to get to this stage to be able to continue to fight and continue in their life. We will all stumble at times but with acceptance we will be able to continue on. I thank you for sharing all of this with so many of us on this forum. Many may not be aware of the things you mentioned and I know your post will only make everyone stronger. We all respect your views very much and you have so much of it to share. Yes, we are a family on here and no, there is not one person that stands alone in this mess. Thank you, God Bless you and we love you!
Loving Cajun Hugsssssss,
RE: Injury, Dismay, Anger, Knowledge,Frustration and then Acceptance!! - Spring - 09-23-2007 04:56 PM
Still in Limbo....So true so true...Thank you for sharing with us. Everything you post is just so honest and true. Wish I could put my heart felt feelings on paper as you can...Find my self within those areas as you listed...(dismay..anger..frustration...etc) but so often flipping back and forth with them...my life at times seems as though I may be getting it back under control...then two weeks later it is so out of control. So I pray I can become at the level that so many of you are at...or atleast I think you are at. We can seem so in control on a computer and not really know what a person is going through in real life..because they choose not to really talk about it. Still in Limbo you truley do give alot of us here alot of strength...as I have said before...I didn't really understand your DX: until a couple weeks ago. And to know you are a fighter as you have showen...truely gives me some spirit to want to be a fighter to...hope that makes sense. I tell myself if he can do it I CAN DO IT!
RE: Injury, Dismay, Anger, Knowledge,Frustration and then Acceptance!! - capricorn - 09-23-2007 05:17 PM
Oh Limbo , my friend. You will help more than one IW with your thread. You have outlined our lives and the stages all IW go through perfectly. It has helped me and has brought a smile to me today to realize that just yesterday I started to leave the stage of frustration and enter the final stage of acceptance. I am one of the fighters and with the help of all of you and letters from the heart like this one I will continue to fight to be the best my "new self" can be and to go on with my life as God intended. I hope someday to be able to very vocally help IW as an advocate, supporter, educator, etc. Whatever I can do to help I hope I am strong and educated enough someday to come to the aid of my less fortunate, educated fellow IW.
God bless you Limbo
RE: Injury, Dismay, Anger, Knowledge,Frustration and then Acceptance!! - ksgirl - 09-23-2007 05:22 PM
Still, you are a very wise man. I am sorry for the way you had to come to your wisdom, but I am thankful that you have that wisdom to now deal with everything that has been thrown at you. You are a fighter and I sincerly believe that you will come out of this with the ability to keep your life where you feel it is worthwhile. (I am sure everyone else will also feel that your life is worthwhile.) I am so happy for you that you have come to this understanding and I pray that you will find what's next in your life to be better than what you have had these last few years. Best of luck in your future life!