what happened to my sex life - Printable Version
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what happened to my sex life - mom2emy - 04-20-2007 05:03 PM
Hey ladies and gentelmen, has anyone noticed how when all these problems of our injuries came about our sex drive went out the door?
I think it must be all the pain and meds we are taking or maybe its just me? My husband noticed it of course but now I am kind of sad to[/size][/font][/b] see it go to it seems the harder I try to make myself feel in the mood the further it gets away (the mood i mean) lol. Just wanted to see if anyone has the same problem? Thanks mom2emy
RE: what happened to my sex life - jayne - 04-20-2007 05:29 PM
check out your washer instructions or ask Bad Boy
RE: what happened to my sex life - red1030 - 04-20-2007 05:41 PM
lol...jayne...that is great. However mom2emy...most narcotics remove your sex drive and so do the Antidepressants that a lot of people on this forum are on. As a wife of 33 years and best friend to him since the age of 10 and 11, sex is not the only thing that keeps a marriage together. This being said, sex is important to the self imagines of both partners. Therefore, first I would evaluate how much pain and maybe stiffness create barriers, and then talk to your physician about the pain and your medication list. Often there is a different medication that will have less side effects about this issue. If you don't tell them they will assume it is ok.
Also, there are a lot of books on the market that talk about these issues and give some very good advice and recommendations. I hope this helps some. I understand your concerns. Been there, done it.
RE: what happened to my sex life - Spring - 04-20-2007 06:05 PM
jayne Wrote:check out your washer instructions or ask Bad Boy
Jayne..I haven't laughed like that in a long time. The sad part is I really went and read the washer instructions. LOL
RE: what happened to my sex life - jayne - 04-20-2007 06:24 PM
I wasnt kidding ask Bad boy about the washer and its help with your sex life
RE: what happened to my sex life - red1030 - 04-20-2007 06:31 PM
Jayne...I think I get it...lol
RE: what happened to my sex life - Spring - 04-20-2007 06:37 PM
Mom2emy....It is very fustrating...but red is very right alot of the medications we take effects sex drive. And then alot of us don't only take one that effects it we take 2-3 of them. Red was also very correct in stating that sex isn't the only way to show love...I know that is very difficult to get a spouse to understand....that is missing sex in there life. You may want to get information regarding the side effects of your medication and let your husband read them, so he can understand it's not you but the medications. Communication with your husband is very important...let him know it isn't any easier for you. We being injuried aren't dead...and miss the physical contact just as much.
We can remember the good ole roll in the hay. We just have to work around pain, no sex drive, don't bend me that way it causes a shocking pains to shoot up my body, don't rub that it causes a major flare up of pain, just keep waking me up, remind me often of what we are doing..my memory isn't good. Mom2emy I know it isn't funny...and it has affected our sex lifes very much. I have been married for 21 years and once you are married for awhile you learn there is so much more in life. Just as red said you may want to talk with your doctor. See if there is some other medications you could be taking.
RE: what happened to my sex life - Spring - 04-20-2007 06:53 PM
jayne Wrote:I wasnt kidding ask Bad boy about the washer and its help with your sex life
Jayne I must be missing something...so I am going to go and post a thread to Bad boy and just ask. Because I don't get it...Yes..I am blonde.
RE: what happened to my sex life - mom2emy - 04-20-2007 07:18 PM
Hi and thanks everyone we have been together my husband and I for 36 years so i know about the joys of being together and having other things besides sex. It is just all of the guilt of not feeling any thing other than drugs or pain or anger!!! My husband is wonderful and very patient and he always is ready to help me any way he can. I feel guilty for putting my family through all my bitchy days but with Gods help I am gonna make it through all of this. Having lost my best friend to breast cancer and both my folks in the last 3 years I can do anything. So you guys thanks for getting me to talk about something that has been a (sore) subject. mom2emy
RE: what happened to my sex life - punk - 04-20-2007 07:46 PM
Mom, I know how you're feeling. I went through much the same thing. Yes, both antidepressants and narcotics will decrease the libido. However, the most likely thing is simple. Pain. If you're in pain, you don't want it. If it causes you pain, you don't want to inflict more than your fair share. Right? It would be my opinion that you could try some books, as mentioned earlier...like the Kama Sutra books. They offer methods that we normally don't think of. Like touch, and the importance of it. Sometimes we get into a rut and take on the same ol', same ol' and that's that. If you do some reading, there will be many suggestions as to how to go about this alternatively with the same satisfaction. The best part.....the Kama Sutra books have pictures depicting what they're talking about!!! That, in and of itself, might do the trick!! LOL It's a valid problem. Something that most of us have either gone through or are going through at the moment. My husband and I found that by experimenting with the different positions that we got closer and more in touch with each other's feelings. That's us. I'm not saying that will happen for you, naturally. But it brought something new and different to the table....added a little spark, if you will.
Then, of course, there's always the 'flicks' to get one's motor going. My belief is, "To each his/her own." What works for one, might not work for another.
You can always speak with your Dr. about this situation as well. They have an abundance of knowledge and won't laugh at you either. Most expect it to come up at some point. Don't be shy.....they aren't. Heck, they see us at our most volnerable....why worry!?
It's completely normal having this happen. As well, if your case goes to deposition or even court, you may be asked if about your sex life. The opposing attorney did in my deposition. It actually brought tears to my eyes. I told him the truth. My husband and I were relatively newly weds (having just had our 1st anniversary) and that yes, it was an issue, that I would like for it to be normal but nothing is near what it was like before my injury. If you're in pain and can't move as before, then yes...it will have a dramatic affect to one's life. My injury was to my lower back, so you can imagine the difference it made in our sex life. We have learned to adapt and overcome in regards to my injury, but it's still not the same! Thankfully, we aren't as young as we used to be and it's not that big of a deal as it would have been if we were still in our teens or twenties!!
I hope this helps a little!! Like the others have suggested...the washer is indeed a good place to start!!
Good luck and I hope you're able to overcome your difficulties!