08-16-2009, 01:50 PM
In Texas there is a stretch of IH-10 from San Antonio to El Paso that is straight as an arrow and flat as a board for a hundred miles. Mountains are way to the north and nothing way to the south.
This fellow was headed to El Paso. It was a clear day, no weather to speak of, and he was in no hurry. He set the cruise control to 65mph, below the speed limit. Popped in his favorite CD. And made himself comfortable in his seat.
Well, about half way through the CD he looked in his review mirror. He noticed a Texas DPS cruiser several hundred feet behind him. He thought nothing of it. The next song played as he smoked a cigarette. As he put the cigarette out, he noticed the cruiser in the mirror had closed the distance. He changed his CD and looked again. The cruiser was close enough that he could see the silhouette of the Trooper and that he was wearing shades. He tapped on his cruise control slowing down. He looked, and the cruiser was again the same distance. He thought it odd the Trooper did not pass. After a few minutes he remember the reports of officer impersonations in the area. His mind became suspicious so he sped up to his original speed, still not speeding. The cruiser matched him remaining the same distance. He became concerned. He quickly reached the speed limit, so did the cruiser. Paranoia getting the best of him, he sped to 10 mph over the limit. So did the cruiser. Convincing himself he was in peril, he sped to 90 mph. The cruiser pursued.
This poor fellow had a white knuckle grip on the steering wheel as he reached 100 mph! He looked desperately for another car or a public place to stop. Staring down the road, not even a billboard in sight! The fellow floors it, his car is as fast as it can go! Now, Texans know that if you pull to the shoulder and do not stop and wave you are proceeding ahead, the officer will understand you are afraid to stop in a secluded area and will follow you to a safe place. This poor fellow thought he was about to come to a certain mis-fortunate end, when the cruisers lights came on. He slowed down to a crawl. Thinking to himself that he may have over-reacted, he stopped praying the worst outcome was JAIL! There was the cruise stopped right behind him.
The fellow looks in his drivers side mirror to see this emence Trooper exit the cruiser. The fellow cracked his window. The Trooper asked the fellow to exit his vehicle with his license and insurance. He felt relieved, even if it was a huge fine. The trooper said, “My shift is over in ten minutes”, if you can give me a reason that I have never heard for your driving, I will let you go with a warning.
The fellow said, “Well Officer, my wife left me. She took the kids. She took the house. She took the money. She even took the Mailbox! Officer, “She ran off with a Texas DPS trooper.”
The Trooper looked at the fellow for a moment and said, “So you thought I was that Trooper, and I meant you great harm?"
The fellow said, “NO!”
He paused a moment and said.
“I THOUGHT YOU WERE BRINGING HER BACK!”
This fellow was headed to El Paso. It was a clear day, no weather to speak of, and he was in no hurry. He set the cruise control to 65mph, below the speed limit. Popped in his favorite CD. And made himself comfortable in his seat.
Well, about half way through the CD he looked in his review mirror. He noticed a Texas DPS cruiser several hundred feet behind him. He thought nothing of it. The next song played as he smoked a cigarette. As he put the cigarette out, he noticed the cruiser in the mirror had closed the distance. He changed his CD and looked again. The cruiser was close enough that he could see the silhouette of the Trooper and that he was wearing shades. He tapped on his cruise control slowing down. He looked, and the cruiser was again the same distance. He thought it odd the Trooper did not pass. After a few minutes he remember the reports of officer impersonations in the area. His mind became suspicious so he sped up to his original speed, still not speeding. The cruiser matched him remaining the same distance. He became concerned. He quickly reached the speed limit, so did the cruiser. Paranoia getting the best of him, he sped to 10 mph over the limit. So did the cruiser. Convincing himself he was in peril, he sped to 90 mph. The cruiser pursued.
This poor fellow had a white knuckle grip on the steering wheel as he reached 100 mph! He looked desperately for another car or a public place to stop. Staring down the road, not even a billboard in sight! The fellow floors it, his car is as fast as it can go! Now, Texans know that if you pull to the shoulder and do not stop and wave you are proceeding ahead, the officer will understand you are afraid to stop in a secluded area and will follow you to a safe place. This poor fellow thought he was about to come to a certain mis-fortunate end, when the cruisers lights came on. He slowed down to a crawl. Thinking to himself that he may have over-reacted, he stopped praying the worst outcome was JAIL! There was the cruise stopped right behind him.
The fellow looks in his drivers side mirror to see this emence Trooper exit the cruiser. The fellow cracked his window. The Trooper asked the fellow to exit his vehicle with his license and insurance. He felt relieved, even if it was a huge fine. The trooper said, “My shift is over in ten minutes”, if you can give me a reason that I have never heard for your driving, I will let you go with a warning.
The fellow said, “Well Officer, my wife left me. She took the kids. She took the house. She took the money. She even took the Mailbox! Officer, “She ran off with a Texas DPS trooper.”
The Trooper looked at the fellow for a moment and said, “So you thought I was that Trooper, and I meant you great harm?"
The fellow said, “NO!”
He paused a moment and said.
“I THOUGHT YOU WERE BRINGING HER BACK!”
