Multitasking Sex in New Mexico Ends in Premature Ejection
I am supposed to be writing today about the Workers' Compensation Executive Forum conducted in St. Louis last week by the Self Insurance Institute of America (SIIA). It provided very insightful information along a number of tracks, most notably the area concerned with managing medical within claims. I should be writing about that. Unfortunately, while I am in the office today, I am not feeling well. I am lethargic, and either have a slight temperature, or my hands, which are almost always warm, have been sneaking off to soak in buckets of ice water. Try as I might, I just can't find it in me to write a serious article today. The excellent info from SIIA will just have to wait.
Thank God for multitasking drivers in New Mexico.
Albuquerque police say that Luis Briones was driving his vehicle at a high rate of speed through that city's streets. They say he was intoxicated, and is suspected of drinking while driving, since a half empty bottle of vodka was found in the car (more optimistic people would have found the bottle half full). Oh, and there was one more thing. They say he was having sexual intercourse "of some type" with a 21 year old woman while drinking and driving. Personally I am glad there is no indication he was texting, as that would be considered unsafe. Besides, the use of a cell phone while driving is illegal in Albuquerque.
At any rate, our wayward Romeo proved that we are not as good at multitasking as we want to believe by running a red light and broad siding a vehicle in the intersection.
The young woman was ejected in the crash, leaving her completely naked and bleeding in the street. Now our multitasking hero of the story chose at this point to do what any red blooded drunk person who had just totaled his SUV while having sex and launched his mate into a career fit for a Wallenda would do; he tried to flee. Fortunately, someone was able to take his car keys from him, so he ran on foot. He ran into a nearby yard, and jumped into a plant to hide.
He jumped into a cactus, to be exact. Ouch. Talk about the ecstasy and the agony.
Apparently police were on the lookout for the couple, as someone had called 911 “before the accident” telling them of a pair appearing to be engaged in coitus while driving at “a high rate of speed.” I know if someone called me about that I'd be looking for them, too.
Police reported that Briones was belligerent and uncooperative during his arrest. He apparently spat at them, threatened them, and kept taking his pants off. Apparently he did not realize that the sex had concluded for the evening, and that his best chance for more had gone out the window. Literally.
Although that could change once he's booked into the county jail. I'd hang on to those pants pretty tight if I were him.
So there we have it. A serious story turned completely on its head because my tummy hurts. At least I didn't work in something about the “Going and Coming rule”. But there is a valuable lesson here. Be careful when multitasking, particularly when you are naked, intoxicated and traveling at a high rate of speed. Multitasking sex is never good when it terminates due to premature ejection.
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Robert Wilson is President & CEO of WorkersCompensation.com, and "From Bob's Cluttered Desk" comes his (often incoherent) thoughts, ramblings, observations and rants - often on workers' comp or employment issues, but occasionally not.
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